Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.

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Faith24 04/12/2017

I dont know what to do about my AH. We have talked about his addiction. It does nothing but cause all kinds of issues. He says he wants to quit bit then doesn't. He says he will mix it...that would be vodka with a splash of Sprite...it works for a few days...then its back to shots straight from the 5th. Depending on how much of that 5th he downs in one night determines what kinda night I am going to have. He has a motorcycle and the agreement is no drinking while driving....he promised...it has been broken. I need help for him... for our family...for me. I have read comments of ppl just giving up on their relationship or better said the AH has chose his addition over his family. I am not ready for that option...I want advice on what I can do to convince him that he needs help. I figured the DUI from almost 2yrs ago was a reality check. He didn't drink on probation and he didn't need counseling (he BSd the counselor) ...but still didn't drink. WTHeck. Btw he doesn't drink and drive a car anymore..but now a motorcycle. Help!!!!

bluesprite72 04/12/2017

You could try an intervention with friends and family. But for sure, let him feel consequences for his actions. Set boundaries of acceptable behavior and consequences for when he crosses the line.

Faith24 04/12/2017

My guy doesn't take the. Word consequences too well. He is a dont tell me BC I am gonna type of guy. Childlike. But what kinda consequences do you suggest?

nurserenee 04/14/2017

I'm kind of in the same boat as you, not ready to give up hope, but hate that I don't have better control over my emotions/reactions to his drinking. I feel like the lives we live with alcoholics are chock full of broken promises. I try to intervene with my husband before he has his first drink, which is usually around 3ish...I ask for the keys then and hide them, if he feels like he needs to go out, he can call and Uber...and I won't gripe at him, that's kind of the compromise we came to. My AH is the one who will come home with 2 or 3 high percentage beers (like 10%) and then say to me and himself I'll just have one now and then has all three drank within a couple hours and is a blubbering fool, but then when he sobers up he thinks he needs to go get more, and I refuse to do it or take him...I guess it's me trying to make it as inconvenient as possible.

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