Yes, but it’s harsh - kick him out and chalk it up to a mistake. You don’t want the kids exposed to his alcoholism. It rarely gets better, and next thing you know 5 years or more have passed. You hope his promises to quit are true, but the are rarely upheld. I wish I had more upbeat advice, but so often it’s a losing battle.

It’s so hard cause I do love him . But things are just getting worse not better. He’s spending money we don’t even have if I ask him about it he says I’m nagging and trying to start a fight! I asked him to go to counseling he just laughed at me ! His famous words to me are” a nagging wife is like a dripping faucet “. He reads the Bible everyday but he doesn’t live by it ! He can be a fun loving guy but apparently doesn’t want to! And I do everything I can for him.

I feel you so much on this. My husband and I are about to celebrate our first wedding anniversary (together for three). His drinking has completely ruined this first year, and has just gotten worse. I have been begging him to go to counseling, but he doesn't believe in it. Keeps telling me he can handle it. That this is the last time it'll happen. He doesn't want this to ruin our marriage. And then goes into the same drunken cycle all over again. The more I nagged him about it, the more resistance I came up against. The only person who can change is him.

One thing that has helped me is to establish boundaries for myself. I can't change what he does but I can change how I react to them. Like, if he is drunk, I spend the evening in another room away from him. When he goes into a drunken rage and I don't feel safe, I leave and stay elsewhere for the night. If I want to talk to him about it and he disrespects me, I stop the conversation. It's taken awhile, but they are starting to have some effect on him. He is slowly starting to notice that I won't put up with it anymore and how that is changing the dynamic of our relationship. I'm not saying it's perfect or things changed overnight, but it's helping to protect me.


You have the added challenge of your children, and you need to do what is best for you and them. Whatever that may be. I did start seeing a therapist, that has helped me sort through my overwhelming emotions. I use an online tool, so I can write to her whenever something happens and she will help me work through the moment.

Above all, always remember that none of this is your fault. This issue is on him and something that he needs to work through. It's taken me a long time to stop taking on the blame or wondering what I needed to do to make him not be that way. Stay strong <3