first of all... I’m so grateful to all of you for reading my posts and offering support.

things have gone from bad to worse here ina short time. In my estimation it’s one of two things or a combination of both. First: he has lost his mind, and is now officially insane! His behavior is bizarre. or the second option is that he is off balance, pissed and maybe even scared that I am not only enforcing boundaries, but I also put myself back in therapy.

this morning he is this kind man who is worrying because I have to drive to work in the snow. Checking in while I am driving and very relieved when I arrive at work and check in. When I get home he s the polar opposite: drunk, angry, verbally abusive “because you showed up you freaking twit” I refused to engage, offered to cook up some veggies when the chicken was done ( it was pretty raw- so had some time) I tried to just get past the idiocy with light conversation, but he was slamming things and muttering foul things under his breath. Why? I have no idea. So I went into the den and shut the door. And I could hear the rage increase. So I thought: I’m not staying here.... he’s yelling why am I in the back room? Who is on the phone?  I said “ I came home and you are calling me names and slamming things and I don’t want to fight - that’s why I’m back here. “So he slams the door. I was on the phone with my son who said - Ma come here bring the dogs. So I put on my coat and took the dogs and went to have dinner with my son and his gf. It was nice in spite of everything. 

Hubby must have thought I just took the dogs for a walk amd started calling me about an hour later .no message. After several calls I finally pick up and he is yelling. I told him I left because he was calling me names he says - what names did I call you? WTF? Then really all he wants to know is where are the tranquilizers. 

I went home an hour later and he seems to be passed out in the guest bedroom. I’m sad , this is so very sad. 

No one can help him, he can’t help himself. It’s hard to see someone with his potential destroy themselves, in this way. To have to watch the decline of  a once amazing man destroy his own life.