This is my first time posting, although I've been reading your posts for about 6 months now. You guys have shared your experiences and it's helped me so much!
My situation isn't as bad as others. At first we actually had the type of relationship that others envied. When he drinks he isn't physically abusive or anything like that. He's actually a big DUMB softy when he's drunk. But to me it's highly unattractive. When he's not drunk he's very smart and that is the man i fell in love with! But he drinks because he can't deal with his feelings. And that is also highly unattractive to me because I do not like a weak man! How about you man-up and grow some balls... Or how about you get a therapist or go to church... or work out to release stress... SOMETHING other than drinking????
Can you tell I'm fed up? I have been with my AH for 18 years. We were around 25 when we got together, and being young we partied a lot. With age, I stopped wanting to party. Unfortunately he never slowed down and now he drinks every damn day. I should have left him when we were young and poor and didn't have money for alcohol, yet he bought some every day... because if he bought it when we couldn't afford it, why would he stop now when we can afford it? Ugh if only we could go back in time.... the signs were there but I totally didn't see them!!
He's in such denial. I can't even bring the subject up with him because he throws such a fit that he looks like a toddler having a tantrum!! He thinks he doesn't have a problem because he doesn't drink 12 beers a night or wake up hung over every day. He's a high functioning alcoholic. Decent job, great work ethic, lots of friends, no one knows he has a problem. But the last argument we had, i let him know I was fed up and he said he'd slow down. But guess what he did? Instead of slowing down or quitting he thought it would be a good idea to try to hide it from me. LMAO does he think I really can't tell when he's been drinking?? I don't ever need to actually see a drink in his hand to know he's been drinking! It's still a daily occurence! But... it also pisses me off that he thinks I'm that stupid!! So guess what? I'll play his little game. He can keep drinking every day and slowly killing himself. Meanwhile I'm going to slowly save up my money and when both of our dogs are passed on (they are old) then I'm going to kick him out on his ass! Thank god our kids are grown so I don't have to worry about them. I am so resentful that we had the perfect relationship and he ruined it because stupid worthless alcohol is more important to him than the woman who has always stood by his side! No amount of yelling, begging, crying has gotten through to him. He actually told me he won't ever quit drinking so he is leaving me no choice. His problem will only get worse when i leave him but that's his own stupid ass fault! I'm a catch and I know it. Even though I have no desire to date now, I know one day I'll meet a sober man who will treat me like the queen that I am!!!!! He has shown me that I don't mean enough to him, so I'll show him he's nothing to me! It's going to be hard continuing to live this way until my money is saved up, but I have to be smart about this and formulate my exit plan carefully!
Stay strong everyone!! And thank you for all your posts because reading them helped me build up my strength to do this!