Wives of Alcoholics Community Group
A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.
My husband is drinking again. After a dui, 3 stints in rehab, counseling sessions, AA, countless classes, probation violations he is back at it. He was sober for awhile but recently has started drinking heavy again. But always denies it until he can't anymore. He doesn't go to work on the days he drinks and that is making it worse and he is self employed so there are no consequence for it. I told myself I wouldnt go through this again but I am finding so difficult to leave. He lost his mother a couple months ago, and had also last a father and step father over the years. So he has no parents and is an only child. So this makes things much harder. I want to be supportive but when he's been drinking I just get angry. He knows he has a problem. He tells me constantly that he doesn't want to drink anymore but he does it anyway. I don't understand how to detach or honestly what it truly means to do so. I have became this lonely, empty, anxiety filled person and don't want to be anymore. I am in hope something like this group can give me advice and insite on how to move forward and how to handle it better when he has been drinking. Thank you for you time.
glad you found the group. glad you posted and are able to vent. you are not alone.
set boundaries - for yourself and his behavior. if you see he is drinking and not engaging in the conversation, you step our of the room. if you feel yourself getting angry, perhaps say you are getting upset and mention you need to leave. ONLY if you feel safe saying this to him. if you feel threatened by confronting then quietly leave and go into another room. He may not even notice since the bottle is the companion.
certainly not a fix but maybe a bandaide for your peace of mind until you make a decision to stay or leave. until he makes a decision to recover or stay addicted and expect you to perpetually care for him. .