my Prince Charming has been out of control for the last few months leading up to the latest “ crisis “. So for almost three straight weeks he has been out of his mind mean-crazy-drunk. Now, yes, he has back problems. Yes, he is on disability, and yes he is in the midst of an attack of sciatica. But for the love of God, can’t he do ANYTHING to help himself? so I researched and set up an appointment at a spinal pain management clinic.  That’s it! He can go or not go, find appropriate pain management or drink himself to death.  I have returned to my one on one therapy and finally became involved with al anon. I am so done with him that I am finding the detachment and boundary enforcement to come naturally. I have revisited all my books on communication skills. So I have been ignoring him, going out, refusing to argue, and leaving him to clean up his own messes. Nothing makes me happier than when he storms off into the guest bedroom and slams the door. He is like a five year old having a temper tantrum for attention. 

So after a couple of weeks of me changing my attitude towards his behaviors, and keeping my boundaries firm without even saying one word.... lo and behold I come home the other day to a slightly less drunk, but pleasant(ish) person. I’m not too impressed, but it is interesting. The next day, he actually appears sober! His sciatic pain is there but he is dealing with it gracefully so we have a nice evening together. Ah but here is the interesting psychological study: it’s the weekend, I’m home with him, preparing for the holiday. The nice guy is slowly becoming more and more short tempered, controlling, and nasty. Not drinking YET, but over medicated. ( it’s all addiction anyway). Did he think he manipulated me back into his good graces? 

now I’m being irreverent but he wakes up from a ‘nap’ about and hour ago, staggers out of the bedroom with one shoe on and one slipper. He has been trying to choose a movie on Netflix for an entire hour!!! And keeps messing up the controller. I feel like I’m watching a weird science experiment.