Hello every one.  I haven't been on for a while.  I've been dealing with a crisis involving my elderly parents for the last several weeks.  They are in their 80s and are a crazily entangled dysfunctional dependent/codependent couple. I have spent most of my adult life trying to heal from my upbringing! They live alone making poor choices and are always expecting my sisters and I to come to their rescue at their beck and call. Well mother dearest fell and broke her shoulder ( no surprise here!) so the rescue mission begins...... my sister and I both live about 45 minutes from them and we have been expected to be there 24/7 for the last several weeks to care for them ( really her) when she is scamming us and we know it. It has been an emotional shitshow for my sister and I. 

Now for my real reason for checking in here: my AH ( aka Prince Charming) has been keeping his drinking down to a dull roar recently and thinks he is just brilliant at manipulating me, I'm not quite that stupid! But as long as he keeps it out of my face, it's the best I can hope for. I am well aware that for the most part his favorite (secret)  activities are drinking.... and for intellectual stimulation-porn. ( yup- and I'm a bad wife because he thinks I'm " just going through the motions of this marriage and I'm not sexually attracted to him any more". ) ya think?

anyway.... while I am in the middle of trying to do the right thing for my emotionally and verbally abusive mother, while maintaining my sanity, Prince Charming chooses this moment to declare  that I'd better just get used to his drinking whenever and how much he wants. He only goes to therapy to keep me off his back and he has no intention to stop abusing alcohol because he does the housework while I go to work, thus making him a good person. Not that any of this was news to me, just that he spoke truthfully instead of all the stupid promises he breaks. Now he says we should be able to live peacefully and love each other since he has laid down the law. ( yes he actually said " laid down the law") I know this is terrible but I am laughing as I write this.

he is at his " therapy" now and then attends his support group. I hope he does not quit because.every Tuesday he is gone from 4:00 until 8:00. I don't really care where he is ( but I do get the bill's from the therapist ) at least he is NOT HERE for this one night every other week!!!! 

If I win the lottery I'm out of here, but until then I will ( lol ) just keep going through the motions and continue to work on my detachment skills. Things with my parents seem to be winding down so I can get back to my routine. Yoga, meditation group,girls nights, and now the weather is getting warmer walking the dogs, beach with friends , my garden. Lately Netflix and headphones have been my friends. 

Hoping you are all coping, staying safe and finding peace somehow. It is so hard trying to love an addict. (I've tried for over thirty years and have given up. ) but I will say this: Daily Strength saved me! No where else did I feel as comfortable or did I find better support. Let's stick together for each other. 

Love and Light my friends.