My divorce from my AH was final on Novemver 18th. Even though I know that this is what needed to be done.... it doesn't keep me from still loving him. I am having a hard time, because he is going down hill. He is getting into harder drugs and not doing well. I know that these are his choices and that I can't control what he does.... it is just really SAD. I have only seen him once in over three months. A week or so ago he called threatening to OD unless I told him that I was equally at fault in our marriage, which I agree to.... it takes two. I thought that I was holding together really well until that night. The thought of losing him forever is killing me. It is one thing to be divorced, but another if they are 6 feet under. I don't know what his bottom is, but I sure hope that it is not his grave! I hate how alcoholism can tear a family apart and how it hurts lives! I feel like I have pushed him over the edge and I'm afraid of the end result! All I can do is pray!
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