Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.

0 Online

DSTRICK 08/16/2017

So we just returned today from our 30th Anniversary get a way. 4 nights just me n him, I was so scared of what was going to happen since the destination we choose is a some what party atmosphere/historical site. Well it was all going good with the exception to his drinking, he couldn't walk in the heat much so he would spend a few hours a day with me the other sitting in the room drinking n watching tv. I'm proud of myself for not letting him hold me back. I'm not the type person to just venture out alone but I did it and I had a great time alone! Yesterday was our actual date so we spent a couple hours on a trolley tour (so he wouldn't have to walk) well he couldn't drink on the trolley so that only lasted a couple hours. Dinner he was drunk but tolerable, had to walk about 8 blocks back to hotel he complained that his blister hurt n wanted to head back to the room well it was only 6pm and our last night I wanted to stay out so alone I went again. 2 hours later back in the room he ran out of whiskey and walked 4 blocks to buy another bottle. What about the blisters!! Still I didn't say a word. Well I guess the guilt got to him as we turned in he brought up something that he always brings up when he wants to get me fired up. So needless to say I cried myself to sleep and another anniversary down that he managed to turn into me a faught! I got a free trip thats all i wanted, Really? Why do I try ?? I don't think I will ever know!

ExJerseyGirl2 08/16/2017

It doesn't sound like a great time with him. At least you got to spend time on your own. I am still with my AH but my life got a whole lot better when I stopped caring about what he was doing and started having fun on my own.

It is a crazy life being married to an alcoholic... I'm not sure how or why we do it.

CeeCee4 08/17/2017

Sounds like he picked a fight with you to justify his drinking. My husband did that all the time. Annoying as heck. Try to not acknowledge him when he is trying to start a fight. I learned that silence sometimes is the best answer. My husband would start to argue and then say some.crazy things to get at me and when I was silent is when I think he heard himself speak and felt like an ass.

suemagoo 08/18/2017

You could litterly be describing my AH same happens to me - we are 3 years married 9 years together last year we went away down the country for my birthday just the two of us - it was a place that we went often on anniversary s and had fond memories but not anymore only thing he was interested in was drinking and betting I went off shopping while he was in pub which sad to say is norm for us and said wud meet up after for dinner but because he was soo drunk dinner was awful and I don't mind the food - he was mean to me there was a fight I can't remember what it was about but I remember him going off while I cried into my food he came back to the hotel passed out when he woke up later apologised and said we should go out dancing as he wanted to make my bday good and it was ok but the dinner was fresh in my mind and the next day going home I wanted to do something but yet again all he was concerned about was getting a drink even at 9 am !!! And it was another fight as u didn't want him drinking as he was driving us home !!! I don't know why back then that I didn't realise their was a problem- I think I did I just didn't want to admit it !!we didn't go anywhere this year as our daughter was born in March but my mother offered to mind her but I said no because I feel we can't go away as all he would want is to drink and make the trip unbearable!! it's very sad that us going away is effected by our AH !!

DSTRICK 08/19/2017

Thanks ladies, I do try so hard not to let him get a reaction out if needed when he starts, sometimes the ignoring helps but tiers he gets louder and all I want to do is shut him up! I'm so embrassed to have anyone hear our arguements. All I could think of that night was the person in the next room is listening to this ass. Crazy his argument is always about me not wearing sexy panties.... a couple yrs ago I purchased some victoria secret panties on line instead of store 1 pair was lacy and cheeky style. Very small n uncomfortable so I never did wear them. They've been in my drawer since I purchased. For some reason he was plundering n found them. When he's sober it's no big deal to him. But when he needs an argument well it's like he found them yesterday and it starts all over again! I have to explain the same reason to why I've never wore them. U could tell they've never been worn but he insist I wear them for my :boyfriend" if only I had one of those "boyfriends" maybe I wouldn't be crying over him! Just saying.... This is why I prepared myself I knew he would be drinking, why would this anniversary or trip be any different. He doesn't like going on trips with our family he would rather sit home alone and drink. Well he doesn't have to worry about anymore trips I would much rather he did stay home! I can turn my text off but I can't stop him from talking....

chelsea05 08/21/2017

I'm so sad your anniversary was ruined, after I read some of these posts I feel better knowing I'm not alone in all of this. I wish I knew why I stayed but I have no answers, perhaps it was hope, he's actually a good guy, but turns into a creep when he drinks, very mean, very mentally abusive. complete opposite when sober.

DSTRICK 08/23/2017

Thank u chelsea05, lately my AH has tried to be nice but its so hard to over look the fact that he's drunk. Why pretend? i'm not stupid. So when hes drunk I do what ever I have to do to avoid him. I feel like the biggest witch but its the only way I can say sane. I'm so tried of his problem taking over my life. He knows what he needs to do but he's never going to face it until something major happens in his life. Last week he had his routine colonoscopy and endoscopy done, just 3 years ago he had pre cancer cells in his esophagus that was treated. He had 15 polyps biopsied in his intestines and barrettes esophagus. It would scare the crap out of me if anything was found in me!

He to is complete opposite when sober just wish I seen that side of him more often!

Join the Conversation