So as I have mentioned in a previous post my AH has been to rehab and back and is now trying to hide his drinking . Monday night he "worked late" stumbled in around 9. Clearly he had been drinking and really thinks I won't notice! Now,  I give him the death stare (as he calls it) and say nothing , I don't care to engage when he is drunk.   So he goes to bed and passes out. As I sit here enraged not only Because he is drunk but because he thinks I'm an idiot as well. What happened next .. I don't even know where it came from. I turned into a 16 yr old. I drew a giant "package" on his forehead with a black sharpie, painted his toe nails bright blue, put giant red dots down the entire left side of his body with a window marker, and gave him a tramp stamp in black sharpie that said " thank you, please cum again" After doing this I hid the polish remover, took pictures  ,and  laughed for an hour! So Tuesday morning comes and he gets up to go to work , late and has an 8 am appt (ha ha ha ) i lay there pretending to sleep , he goes in the bathroom and I hear " oh what the fu**" , now I am trying not to laugh hysterically as I know he will not find the polish remover and will have to scrub the sharpie off his forehead. He finally leaves swearing under his breath. Later Tuesday he comes home from work, I'm sitting on the deck  waiting. He comes up on the deck sits down and says " have fun last night?" I said "why yes thank you for asking" .. A few minutes go by and he says " my toes are still blue and i had to use 409 on my forehead"  I laughed and said "what about your tramp stamp?"  He stood up looked at his back side and said " seriously? I went all day like that?" I laughed harder and said " you know why I did , right?" He got up an said " real mature " and went in the house. I sat and laughed for what seemed like hours. Since he is closet drinking he didn't dare ask why I did it because he would have to actually admit he was drinking again . So now I have decided when he comes home drunk or high he is going to be my bare canvas! I wish I could share the photos to give you all a well deserved laughs at an AH's expense. Hope this gives you all a smile and maybe new idea ! 

Hugs