My heart goes out to you. You have an infant daughter and your life should be about the wonders of having a new life in the family, not dealing with a drunk husband.

Drinking comes first to alcoholics, apologies come later. Family is down on the list. It's a tough roller coaster to get off of.

Sorry Brenda like jersey said drinking comes first and sadly it always will. Been in my marriage for 30 yrs and i've never been 1st! I can look back and see it progressing, all the blame ended up on me time and time again. I'm to the point that I can't even have a conversation with him sober because he's so defensive. So I don't even try. I wish I knew the answer for me for you and for every other spouse or loved one that has to live in this hell. And that's exactly what it is! I can tell you this if I could go back and make a change I would change the way I dealt with things, I wouldn't have ever let it go on. Not saying that I could have prevented it or stopped him from drinking but I could have left when it was easier, and forced his hand! He knows now that I will never followed through and probably won't... I don't wanna give up everything i've worked hard for over the past 30 yrs, and why should I expect him to either. 25-20 yrs ago it wouldn't have been as much to leave. Just always had that in the back of my head that I would change him and he would eventually choose me 1st! It's not going to happen....

You deserve better and so does your little one just keep in mind that it's his lost not yours. Best of luck to you in what ever you decide because your the only one that can make choices for you and your daughter!

Brenda- I’m having similar issues. I left my AH last week. My AH was drinking all week but now has sobered up and realizes that I mean it this time. So now he has been texting making all the empty promises about not drinking anymore and changing etc. I have a 4 and 7 year old. It would be so nice to be able to just go home. But I know in my heart that the cycle will never end. It’s been like this for 8 years. I love him but I just don’t like the person he is. And I really can’t even deal with his negativity anymore. I do hope he can get sober. I honestly wish the best for him and I want him to be a part of the kids lives if he can be trusted. I just don’t think I can continue to live that way. Getting my hopes up just to be devastated. And the mood swings! Omg his mood swings are out of control! One minute he is kind and loving and then the next minute he won’t speak to me and I’m getting the silent treatment for no reason whatsoever! I wish the best for you and your little girl. But honestly, I wish I would of left when my kids were younger. I think it would of been easier. Hang in there friend!

So, does the mood swings happen when he’s drunk or sober too? I’m also thinking on leaving my husband because the drinking is 1st...always 1st. He knows he has to stop but i’m tired of his lies and his empty promises. Even though his drinking has decreased considerably, he’s still hurtful when sober....I just can’t keep living like this! God bless you all!

Currently in that pattern with my husband. He was cutting down on the drinking and that has escalated to him being drunk for the third time this week. I finally left tonight because I couldn’t deal with the empty promises anymore and I refuse to continue to put myself in that situation. I agree with all of you on the mood swings. Doesn’t matter if drunk or sober, it’s always emotional whiplash.

I feel you on so many levels Brenda1980. Why is something so simple, like putting family before drinking, so difficult for them...