I try so hard to go on with my life in spite of my alcoholic husband.  I go to work and school and drive my kids around to their activities and such. I put on a happy face and I try and keep the house somewhat together and keep things as normal as possible, all while my husband drinks himself into a stupor and removes himself from our lives.  I am riddled with fear and anxiety because I feel like one day I will just come home and find him dead.  I have no means to support us and have 2 years left of school before I get my degree.  He will never make it that long if he doesn't stop drinking and he doesn't seem to have any intention of stopping.  There is nothing me or anyone says that gets through to him.  He does lawn care and he doesn't go back to work until March and I just cannot imagine him sitting here and drinking every day until then. I am so angry and upset a lot of the time and have a hard time enjoying anything anymore.  Ultimately I am a survivor and I know that no matter what happens I will figure something out.  I feel bad for my kids.  None of us deserved this...none of us on here deserve any of what the alcoholics in our lives put us through.  Some days it all just gets to me....today is one of those days.