Hi, thanks for sharing. I can relate with not having friends...I feel like being married to an AH has messed with my ability to trust others. But I am currently trying hard to make friends & work on my own issues. After over a decade of trying to help him and neglecting myself & my needs & desires it is time! I hope you can find some supporting friends. It really helps with my sanity.

Thanks for the words of encouragement.

jesy, I don't have friends either. I guess after u continuously turn people down on invites they stop asking but I was always embarrassed to go anywhere with friends and my AH. U always have that person who thinks things are funny and encourages the things you don't like. He's not a mean man but he will end up arguing with anyone around while he's drinking and he's very opinionated. The most embarrassed i've gotten was last year my daughter threw me a 50 birthday dinner celebration invited some old friends and family. I didn't want him there and hoped that since he was drinking that day and we had been arguing that he would forget! NOPE he remembered and was there..... He was so drunk that he almost fell several times, his main boss from his work was there at the same time having dinner with his wife, well he doesn't really care for this man. He went over to his table and said hello (which was a nice gesture) but about 30 mins later I guess he felt the urge to walk back over and let his boss know that he had a beautiful wife but he hated his guts! Luckily I didn't walk over with him as he had asked me too! From that and how he treated everyone there for me that night was a compete disaster. I now avoid any family gathering. I know where your coming from and understand, my grown daughter and niece is actually my best friends. They know how he is and its not so embarrassing when they see him act out. But I do miss the best friend talks and envy the ladies out there that have some what normal lives and able to do weekend get a ways or just hang out for the night. If you need to vent you should vent if you don't have anyone this is a good place since we all here know exactly what your going through. it's hard but your a strong woman!

I am so sorry for what you're going through and completely can sympathize with your situation as I am in a very similar one. I am actually at the point of wanting out of my marriage due to alcohol abuse and the way it has affected my 16 year old son and I.

twins212001 take care of u and your son, prayers and huggs!

Feel free to vent all you want. I felt so alone before I found this group and I don't talk to anyone else about my situation.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I also don't have people over for this same exact reason. When my AH is drunk any little thing can set him off. I hate dealing with it and would be super embarrassed if someone else was over. I am so sorry you had to go through that at your family cookout. Sending you hugs.

Thank you all so much, this means a lot to me. During the week everything is fine,. Then the weekend comes and I get that feeling of dread of not knowing what to expect. Not knowing which one of us will be the target of his anger.

((((HUGS))))

I wish I could give you magical advice, but I am still learning how to handle this myself and I know it's just nice to know you are not alone and others understand. So hugs to you, you are not alone, and I understand.

Unfortunately many social gatherings we are invited too, there are many people drinking so he just kind of blends in. I usually have to deal with the drama once we are home. There have been times though where we are at a gathering and he needs to go and sit down. I am enjoying socializing and suddenly have to explain why my husband is nowhere to be found. He will then text me saying he wants to go home. He will not take no for an answer and will persistently text me or call my cell to get his way. I don't want to have to explain his behavior, it is too much stress. I just want a day to end as well as it began. Sending love and support your way.