Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.

0 Online

jennybobenny 12/08/2015

A while back, when I was still with my alcoholic boyfriend, I was trying to explain to my therapist how he made me feel like the crazy one. How he made me doubt my own memory. She gave me a term I had never heard before... Gaslighting. And I want to pass it on to you all because I just read one of our fellow wives posts that mentioned this very experience.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting

naezer 12/08/2015

Ooooh yes, can relate to this. Thanks for sharing!

deleted_user 12/09/2015

Sure can relate to this post. Dating/living with an alcoholic will test anyone's sanity. It takes the focus off of them!

snowbodyinparticular 12/14/2015

I did read more about this. My husband is a professional gaslighter. Thank you for caring enough to post this, so I know it's not just me.

My husband is turning 53 soon. I know this is not old, but I thought he was experiencing some form of early onset Alzheimer's. After reading more about Gaslighting, I found that this is very common in people who drink heavily.

jennybobenny 12/31/2015

Ooh yes! I'm glad you found it helpful. I'm very angry for trusting my alcoholic boyfriend when we first met and I didn't know. He fooled me into thinking I had memory problems! He said "I have a better memory than most and remember everything" and because I was infatuated with him, I believed him!! He made me doubt my memory! But as time went on, I realized I was the sooner one and my mind and memory was still in tact, and as accurate as human memories can be. Then everything unraveled and he just appeared less and less sane.

But never in my life had I been in a situation before to believe I said and did things I couldn't remember! It was so disconcerting! Why? Because he was gaslighting and it any true!

wavesofchange 01/01/2016

Thank you for this. So great to see this.

bonblue 01/02/2016

I can relate for year I blamed myself for all our failures anytime he got upset
It had to be doungvsomething I was doing or as he put it what I wasn't doing
They are so selfish and totally mulipitive.
I wish they could live in our shoes for just 1 day dealing with them .
Not many would stay I'm sure

Southiebella 01/18/2016

Oh yes. I was gaslighted by my ex alcoholic. He would accuse me of having an affair while he was drunk and the next day deny it or laugh and say he was just joking ~ hardy har.....

He is also a misogynist, a narcissist and sociopath. Fun. I'm so happy he's gone.

lauriegardner 03/11/2016

Oh my gosh! This gaslight is what put me over the brink. I've committed suicide twice. The only way I lived the 2nd time was an absolute miracle. So, I stayed away from him. He didn't do that when he wasn't drinking though. He died and now I'm unpacking this mental suitcase and it's pretty confusing...but I love him very much. I know God will be with me every step.

Join the Conversation