Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

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Do i leave??

Witheld
Witheld

Me and my partner are not in a good place. I blame our broken relationship on his drinking, he blames it on my nagging. Yes im nagging because of the drinking and all the alcoholic side effects.


I dont want to leave but he wont talk to me. He wont give me hope things will change. Im at a cross roads and dont know what to do. Does it ever change?? Am i likely to get my miracle?? 


I have found a place but am so sad and scared to take the next step. I truely love him to bits but in the mean time losing love for myself.


Any advise would be appreciated.

sevier
sevier
You have to decide how you want to live. You absolutely cannot change him and typically these things only get worse. I’ve been married nearly 20 years and if I could tell my younger self to leave I definitely would. This is no way to live your life. A lot of us stay because we have kids and worry about our AH getting joint custody or are financially dependent on them. If that is not the case for you I would get out while you can. No amount of love can make someone stop drinking and it can really destroy the spouse. Good luck to you ❤️
Faith
Faith
Well said sevier...Prayers to you withheld.
DSTRICK
DSTRICK
just like sevier said, Its a very difficult life! I've been living it for 32 yrs now. The anger and resentment builds up so much that it gets to a point that you can't talk or look at him. That's where I am now. I want out and I should be able to just leave but my hardest part is when he's sober and seeing the pain in his eyes that he knows how I feel, I love him as the father of my kids and the years spent with him but i'm no longer in love with him and its all due to his addiction.
My AH never wanted help nor does he now, even knowing how I feel he would rather drink himself to death! You need to ask yourself is this how you want your life to be in 20-30 yrs from now??? I always thought things would get better in age but it hasn't only gotten worst. I now feel cheated out of happiness! Good luck sending hugs and prayers
sweetiepie212121
sweetiepie212121
Sorry about this but alcoholics cannot be depended on they cannot offer themselves hope unfortunately. My Ah blames me as to why he drinks is because of me nagging yet he drank before he met me. It has gotten to the stage now where we both cannot tolerate one another. He talks a lot still... Drunk talk full of rubbish.... He leaves early Monday to Friday, over the weekend mostly too.

Unfortunately having a miriicle with an acholic is 0.5% this is what kept me going so long with him. Now I know he isn't going to recover but has me questioning asking myself what do I want for me. My dreams have gone with him any way it is so sad.