H has been drunk since Wednesday evening only sobering up enough to get himself to the liquor store for more booze.  I have been running around juggling work, school, and homework while trying to get my som where he needs to be and cooking cleaning and everything else in the house.  All while H lays passed out in the chair in front of the television.  I want to scream.  I hate living like this but I am trapped here for now.  It is so hard to do all of this by myself and then I think that this is pretty much going to be my life from here on in because at some point, whether he drinks himself to death or I can finally get it together and leave, I am going to be on my own anyway.  I am so sad and angry for myself and my kids....and when I look at him in that chair I just want to shake him.  I know that it would do nothing but I am just so frustrated.  I know this is all going to end badly and there really is not much I can do about it.  I can't believe that I am 46 years old and I have let myself get into a mess like this.  Thank you as always for listening....I don't really have anyone to talk to who understands and somedays I just have a hard time coping and seeing any bright side.