Anowife,
My AH and from most of the post i've read....

The mood swings (mine is usually bad mood when he doesn't get his way, you don't agree with him or something is said regarding his drinking) Nothing is his fault, no one appreciates anything he does, everyone wants to dictate what he does (meaning his drinking). The memory loss always... I have to answer the same question over and over. I wonder how my AH functions at work, he's an electrician. I think he's in auto pilot when he works and drives. Since the only time he drives he's usually drunk unless its in the AM heading to work. Wants to die (when he thinks he can get attention) yellow eyes, big belly like he's 9 months pregnant, swollen ankles, constant ear infections, flushed red face, see's only a doctor when needed and that doesn't ask alot of questions and he doesn't volunteer much info so any labs done aren't enough to answer any concerns of mine. Drinks when not working usually till passing out on weekends we have the double pleasure of, waking up and going again till passing out!

This is very depressing but what i'm trying to learn from others on here to detach myself. Not gonna beg him to go places with us, walking away when he wants to argue because your never going to win. I don't push him to talk to his doctor - it's his life that he's taking. I was told yesterday that I needed to practice tough love with him. This is much easier said than done! Just one day at a time is all you can do. Wish I had more answers for you, but I know when I first found this site it helped me to know that my AH wasn't the only one out there that acted like a complete idiot at times. I experienced the love hate what if he dies and so on, I felt heartless to even have these thoughts. Your not alone even though it seems that you are. Try Alanon it works for some and doesn't for others. I find comfort in God, praying daily for me to know how to deal with him with love and not hate.

Good luck - sending hugs!

I actually really do feel better from your reply. Thank you so much. it really helps to know I am not alone and that maybe his actions are completely "normal" for an addict...

You described my husband. When he has been at his worst it is even worse. Wet brain is a real thing .Memory loss happens as the alcohol impacts the brain as it does the kidneys. The repetitive questions are very frustrating. Sometimes its within hours, sometimes days. Its frustrating.

Repetitive questions... sometimes just several mins! LOL. I feel like i'm talking to a child when I talk to him.

Anowife, i'm glad I was able to help. Sometimes I feel like an idiot rambling on and I know people get tired of hearing me complain.

I agree with both LA2017 and DSTRICK. I just wanted to add that, without blood tests (likely CBC and liver panel), are probably the only way to know for sure if your hubby has kidney or (more likely) liver problems. The yellow eyes are likely jaundice (common in long-time alcoholics), but blood tests would be needed to confirm, sorry to say. On the other hand, even if uour hubby were willing to see a doctor, he may very well not listen to his doctor's recommendation to quit drinking. As I've heard alcoholics and Al-Anon'ers say, He's gotta wanna...

Even if he wants to quit at this point, it could be very difficult for him. My own husband wants to quit, is seeing a therapist, as well as going to two meetings a week that are more than your average AA... they are comprised of men (mostly professionals... judges, doctors, attorneys, executives, etc.) who need to be held accountable by their group. Regular AA doesn't allow "cross-talk," i.e., offering suggestions, holding accountable, etc. That's why my hubby agreed to go on Antabuse at the recommendation of his therapist... and because hubby has admitted his alcoholism to his doctor (who is very attentive), he only had to make a call to his doc to get the Rx. Antabuse won't "cure" him... he will just get very, very sick if he drinks while on it. It gives him more time to try to get his mind straight through therapy and groups about not drinking. Alcoholism really is an insidious disease. Wishing you the best. Know you aren't alone! xo

p.s. On rereading your original post, it strikes me that, while those symptoms all could be just signs of alcoholism, they could point to other physical ailments... It really would be a good thing if he would see a doctor.

You may relate to the following : he had his wonderful moments of COMPLETE sincere intentions of quitting and seeing his doctor. He has in the past been on Antabuse but I truly think now in retrospect he quits as a cleansing act. I dont think he ever truly intends to quit for life. The last 'cleanse' was probably six years ago. He knows he acts, feels, looks and functions better when he quits. But he believes he quits every year. He makes statements that blow my mind on how dillusional he can be! I can write pages and pages of incidents (as i think we all can) i see fragments of my days in all your posts too. I feel so happy to have a platform to write and be heard. I cannot talk to family. Their concerns annoy me as some days can be so good, but once you confide you tarnish their thoughts of AH for life. Thank you for listening :)