Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.

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stacyleanne 10/17/2015

I'm currently learning to "detach with love" as Alanon calls it. I know it's a process and it takes time to perfect it but my AH is reacting very strongly to this. I am being accused of being callous and uncaring when I refuse to engage in conversations when i know he has been drinking. I do not say anything about his drinking. I'm curious if anyone who has been through this process can share how detachment looked for them and how they experienced it.

Any advice is welcome!

rummi 10/17/2015

I haven't tried that technique but I'm interested in knowing if you see further improvement!

bonblue 10/18/2015

I too have had to detach emotionally. I still get pulled back after 20 years I am happy
With my time and I have to just get out of the house for my own sanity. I go to goodwill
Habitat stores more to get my mind off of home.
It's a sad way to live but between that and my job it helps me get through the week

ExJerseyGirl2 10/18/2015

Does he know why you are detaching? Have you told him you (hopefully when he is sober) that you aren't going to deal with him when he is drinking? If you haven't had this conversation, then I'm not surprised that he is reacting strongly. (Of course with a drunk, I am not much surprised by any reaction.)

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