Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.

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Dear alki-ass husband needs a liver transplant

endlessgrief
endlessgrief

Have any of you lovely ladies gone through this with a drunk husband or relative? I don't know what to expect. How long did you have to wait? What is the recovery time? 


Instead of searching webmd I thought there must be some of you who have gone through this. Any help or advice you can give me would be greatly appreciate it.


harrisbaby
harrisbaby
I hate to hear that. My soon to be ex has gone through other alcohol related medical issues but not severe liver issues. I can understand your hurt and pain. It seems like we as wives do all the reaching out and work to try to salvage our relationships while the alcoholic goes on their merry way destroying it all.
I'm here if you want to talk. Let's be friends. Hugs and take care!
endlessgrief
endlessgrief
Oh my dear friend, you said a mouthful there and I quote: "It seems like we as wives do all the reaching out and work to try to salvage our relationships while the alcoholic goes on their merry way destroying it all."

You nailed it with that statement. I was raised by wolves and recently went no contact with my toxic family. That was a huge move for me and I am still in mourning over the loss of a family. So the only person I have right now is my AH and he is more toxic than all of them put together. ME ME ME ME ME. I was the one who went to therapy and alanon. I am the one who cleans up his messes. I am the one who stuffs my feelings deep inside (lonliness, anger, hatred, disgust, disappointment, sorrow) while he cries and whines like a bitch if I lose my cool at his bad behavior.

Well, when we are forced to work on OURSELVES through therapy, reading, meetings, message boards, etc. we learn about why we are attracted to and put up with horrible behavior from those we love. We realize we never felt worthy of love and were attracted to people who were unable to fulfill our need for love and acceptance. We start to understand who we are and realize we do not deserve to be ignored, yelled at, called names, and used. We realize we have been walking on eggshells around those we love and spend our lives trying not to rock the boat.

Well I have come to the conclusion of: FUCK THAT STUPID BOAT. I am gonna rock it and even make it sink dammit. These mentally ill people will no longer dictate what I can say, think and feel. Every time I try to convey my feelings to my AH, I get dismissed with an eye roll or some other negative reaction and I refuse to be silenced any longer.

I used to think my AH was the smartest man I knew. NOPE, he is very DUMB. The kicker is, he thinks I am the stupid one, which he has no problem telling me.

Thank you for your response, I also approved your friend request so PM me any time you need to talk and I will do the same.