Congratulations on finding yourself. Stay strong and I hope everything works out for you.

I pray for you both. I pray that he follows up with meetings or some sort of support system. There is one on here for alcohol recovery. I'm happy for you and pray you always know how very valuable you are!

Funny, I always thought I was strong and independent, but my ex-ah found ways to chip away at my confidence about that. I finally realized that yes in fact I was strong and independent and that scared and intimidated him instead of embracing and being proud of me for it. You are strong and independent, I think we all are in some fashion. It's just that it's been squashed sometimes. We've been through the wringer with them, we must be incredibly strong to still be standing! So glad you found it again! I hope your husband realizes how much you love him and that being sober is so much better!

I think it's good that you wrote this down because you can come back here and read it and remember that you are strong, if you feel a little different sometimes.

When my AH went to detox for 10 days, I enjoyed the solitude. I cranked up my death metal music to 11, didn't have to tip toe because "someone" is still sleeping ALL DAY, and the dog could finally bark at the mail man without getting in trouble.

I told him when he goes to detox again, I am not going to sit by his bedside every day like I did before. He just laid there drooling and pissing on himself, he was super doped up on atavan.

At the time I felt obligated to be by his side, his ever loving wife, but in my heart, I wanted to be alone. I was worried about what his family would think. What a bad wife I would be! Egads! The shame!

After all I have put up with, I no longer care what ANYONE thinks. I owe NO ONE an explanation for my behavior and I do not have it in me anymore to lie and play the doting wife.