Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

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Child Endangerment

baddream
baddream
The police just left with my AH and are charging him with child endangerment. He left our 11 yr old alone at the local park at 11 o'clock at night because he (11yr old) wasn't done fishing!!! And Tim didn't want to be 'mean' and make him come home. I went straight to the park and picked him up and then called the police. AH was already passed out by the time they got here

The officers did a great job talking to all of us individually and getting the whole story. I even woke my 11 yr old up so they could talk to him. It was soooo refreshing to hear them tell AH how completely unacceptable his behavior was. One officer even asked him if he was happy being an alcoholic and he said he was 'fine with it'. So they took him away in handcuffs. Oh and they have proof, along with his confession, that he drove after drinking with our 7 yr old in the car.

They told me he would probably be out tomorrow morning on his own recog (?) and then there will be a hearing sometime in the future. This is all so foreign to me because I've put up with his crap for so long and never called the police on him before. I wonder what he'll be like tomorrow??? If he'll even come home?

I was already planning on telling the kids about our seperation tomorrow so this was actually 'good' timing on his part. Hopefully it helps when it comes time to fight for custody.
bean22
bean22
This being on record will help you tremendously! good for you. I know that (although extremely unfortunate) will leave an impression in your children that you stood up for them...

I know how hard it is to bring an alcoholic marriage and merry go round to resolution. You are making the tough decisions that it takes, that's why many people (including me) let the insanity go on and on. Make certain you have a good support network lined up to continue pushing you forward.
Karenhopeful
Karenhopeful
We will never regret putting the safety and well being of our children first. Good for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sorry to hear that your child was left that late at night, but I know exactly how you feel. My AH left our son at school on several occassions because he was passed out on the couch and never went to pick him up, so the school was calling me at work to come get him!! So frustrating!! I also have experience with him and the law unfortunately... He has twice been arrested for DWI. First time he got off because the taped arrested in the cops vehicle was no good and he refused the test so there was no evidence. Second time he rear ended a vehicle at a stop light and took off!! He was caught and arrested on DWI and failure to stop and render aid with injuries!! What a dumb ass!! But guess what, he didn't do jail time.. He got 4 yrs probabtion and restitution to the family. He had stopped drinking when he was on probabion (said he quit to save our marriage, whatever), but guess what?? As soon as probation was over he has since started drinking again, and I know it is only a matter of time before it happens again. Just trying to get finances in order before I walk out the door for good!! Hats off to you for calling the cops and stay strong for your kids and of course for yourself..
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sorry to hear that he put your children through this--it is completely unacceptable. A word of advice to you and any other mothers out there who may be dealing with custody issues in the future. It is essential to document real evidence to prove to the court that your alcoholic spouse is not a fit parent. Certainly the arrest record will be helpful, but for those whose husbands have been able to avoid arrest, you will need records. Begin with a journal, document his out-of-control behavior, write it down with dates, times, facts, details. Do this as though you are writing a police report, do not include your opinion or speculation, just detail what actually happens. Name witnesses if there are any. If possible, supplement this with photographic evidence (him passed out on the couch or floor, his stack of empties, receipts from liquor purchases, etc.) You may even want to tape record him verbally abusing you and the kids. All of this can be tremendously helpful in protecting your kids from unsupervised visits. I had a friend who did all of this and was able to get 100% custody of her kids, any visitations he had were supervised only. In Alanon we learn First Things First and the most important thing for any woman is her safety and the safety of her children.