Oh crap! But really, is it like his mommy gave him permission? My AH will use anything as an excuse.
More importantly.... you are not alone. There are lots of us out here dealing with the same stuff. Mine is more like nice and charming when sober ( if you call the short times between drinks sober ) when drunk... stupid and incapable. When I confront.... A freaking monster. Just breathe and ignore his crazy.

WOW, This reminds me of something I used to do. Even though I hated my AH drinking, if I found a bottle hidden I wouldn't throw it away (I thought I was wasting money) LOL... instead I would hide them in another location that I knew he wouldn't find then after they accumulated

My AH also is a sweet humble man when sober but the sober times are very few hours a week. I would say maybe 5% of a week I see him sober. It's so sad that his coworkers get the best of him! I spoke to my sister in law this past weekend and I knew his brother had always smoked pot and drank but he's always so sweet when I see him but she said he's the same way.... Only difference is he's retired and has more time to drink, luckily she has her job that keeps her away during the day. Their mom knows quit well as her husband also was an alcoholic. Hang in there!

Thank you it's such a relief been able to unload it gets soo lonely dealing with it on my own and wondering when did it all go wrong - especially when I feel I should have the support of his family but his mother is enabling him I even had a word and tried to say very nice that buying him drink is bad for him and she says to me their small bottle and mild I can tell u their not either !! It's like she doesn't want to hear it r deal with it and that's fine but don't go encouraging his drink - His brother is getting married in May and I'm both looking forward as worried about it - it will be our first time away together recently out together since our daughter has been born it's down the country we're staying for two nights he says the first night he is going to get drunk and is going to watch his drink in the wedding (I don't believe it) I was kind of hoping for nice romantic time away but I also have this haggling feeling that also his drinking might ruin the whole weekend !!

U go and have a good time! I used to allow his drinking to ruin any outings or vacations but I learned a few years ago if he has to be there and he's going to be drinking just leave him behind doing it and do what I want. Our 30th anniversary last August we went away for 4 nights I almost cancelled several times because we were going hours away alone for 4 nights.... He of course indulged the whole time leaving me to venture out alone but I had the best time, enjoyed the time to myself!

Thank you yes I really hope his drinking won't ruin it I'm hoping he might make the effort for one night at least he has different stages of drunk happy, funny loving , looking for argument , passing out and very mean streak for the last 3 weeks I've only had about the first two which has been nice to live with it never lasts more dan a few weeks then the hulk comes out he had a meeting this morn said would be back by lunch lied to me about having more work and came back told me he had spent all his wages on beer and betting horses !! Couldn't be more furious then he went to bed full of sorry got up 3 hours later causing fights with anyone who looked at him gave out to me for not having dinner on the table when he got home !!! Then would say something nice and then start an argument all over again!! Then he went to bed again , it frustrates me because each time he goes easy on the drink and is the husband and father I know and live I think this time it's different mayb he can have a few each night and still be ok maybe the cross alcoholic is gone , but then I get a wake up call like tonight n think how could I be that stupid thinking he was ok because I guess he never will be esp when he won't admit he has a problem!!

Your not stupid it's just the game to reel us back in. It's been that way with my AH our whole marriage. I work up to the point that I'm done then he's nice and makes me think "hey he's gonna change"! NOT.... where at that point right now I've been so good the past few weeks not giving into him, been staying with my pregnant daughter nights. (Using the excuse that she doesnt need to be alone) and when he starts the stupid text ive shut him down so i think hes scared im about to leave. He even offered to buy me a new car, lol! But i told him no, thats something i will do on my own when im able. Im determind to be financially capable of supporting myself n the girls (My 2 teen grandaughters) don't think I've ever in our 30 yrs lasted this long. And I owe it to this site and the wonderful ladies here with awesome support!

Thank you this page is a relief to know I'm not the only one going thro this , a hate dat for a while things r going really well and lovely and I think this is it but it only lasts few days again I taught was going well then he came home from work he wasn't drunk but I could tell he had been drinking he also brought cans home - it was awful I had dinner made and of course he criticised that and started endless fights with my 15 year old he just kept looking for arguments about anything all in front of our 10 month old - it's amazing how u can feel like your really happy one minute then their drinking and u think how awful my life is what did I do to deserve it and it's not like it's going to change especially when he wont admit he has a problem