I have been married to my AH for three years now, and with him for a total of six years. I am 33 years old and we do not have children. Two months ago I filed for divorce. My AH did not seek treatment for his alcoholism until four months ago, after I had endured a significant amount of emotional/mental abuse and even a few instances of physical abuse. He has been in an outpatient program since the beginning of February. He has an individual meeting with a counselor every other week, and a group meeting/class every week. Even though he made the choice to get help, I was still angry with him about his prior behavior. The incident that was the straw that broke the camel's back was this past Super Bowl weekend. That Saturday night he went to a friend's house and drank an entire bottle of rum on his own. After I called him and knew he was drunk, I went to the friend's house to pick him up because I did not want him driving home. When I got to his friend's house we got into a fight and he was beyond mad at me the next day because I was an "embarrassment." He would not speak to me for a week, except for telling me how horrible I am and that he wanted a divorce (he often used the word "divorce" as a weapon even though he didn't mean it). One week later, after my mother came in from out of town because I was so distraught, my AH admitted he had a problem and sought help. However, the damage had been done at that point and I wanted out. I had heard the promises of change before and did not want to be let down yet again. I convinced my AH to move out while we "temporarily separated" but was secretly meeting with an attorney to file for divorce. The papers were filed on April 17th and my husband was devastated when he was served. I started seeing someone else who was wonderful. He was kind, attentive, and supportive of me during this entire ordeal. However, about a month ago, I started having second thoughts and was regretting not giving my AH's sobriety a chance. I reached out to my AH and we have been talking ever since then. He has not moved back in with me, and I refuse to allow him to do that right now. I am just unsure of what to do right now. I still love my AH but I am afraid that if I allow him back into my life the past will repeat itself. He has been sober for 4 months now, but is this a permanent change? I attended my first Al Anon meeting last night, hoping that if I talk to others who have been in my shoes it will provide some guidance. I ended my romantic relationship with the man I was seeing after I filed for divorce, but we do talk occasionally. I want to make the best decisions for myself and my well-being, but I am not sure what those decisions are and it tears me apart every single day. I don't want to miss out on the happy, sober marriage that I always wanted with my AH, but will I ever be able to relax and trust that this change is for real and will last a lifetime? Any advice is so appreciated... thank you.