went to hubby's new company work party last weekend.  He's upper management and was prepping me to not nag him about having a couple drinks because he wants to show the blue collar guys he's "relatable".  He said he was excited to make me proud (i could tell he was already on his way to stonerville).  Once we got there he hung with me for all of 10 minutes before he was off working the room and pressing the flesh.  I ate dinner alone, made pathetic conversation with a bunch of people I didn't know and was later greeted with a drunk husband who told me to fuck off in front of his co-workers.  I wasn't embarrased.  I was sad for him.  He's a great man and I love him but this addiction has taken the man I love away from me and he's become a scared, angry and depressed person.  I was able to convince someone to help me get him to the car where he proceeded to pass out.  I let him sleep it off in the garage overnight (we live in the snowy mountains)....

i'm left feeling empty.  I know what I need to do. I plan to take my 5year old and 8 year old out of this situation even though he is a great father and loves his children.....i see the light going from my whole family.  I have to save these sweet souls from becoming an empty, resentful and  depressed carcass like their mother.  I have an appointment with a therapist on Friday who specializes in addiction and family's of addicts as well as interventions.  I'm looking to him for some guidance on where to start.  I'm meeting with an attny to find out what my rights are.  My AH has already told me he won't leave the house so I need to know what to do to protect my kiddos.  This has been a painful 15 year journey...i can feel my physical body begin to break down....i can see the fear in his eyes as he feels me pull away from him....i have tried to save him so many times and now it's time to save me and my children. Please pray for our family.