Long-term alcohol abuse causes often permanent effects on the brain, including memory loss. Read this article: http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/aa63/aa63.htm

My AH conveniently forgot everything we talked about while he was drunk, and when sober he would only remember things that benefited him. I think they start telling stories in their head that they actually believe as truth because if they weren't in denial about what a crappy person alcohol has made them become, they would implode into a crying, broken puddle on the floor.

Play acting. Am sure you have read medical articles and comments from people living with A's that their behavior only gets worse when they continue to drink. I hope you will start living for yourself and enjoy every single day. The A's want those around them to sit and drink - they are furious we won't. I have only one time on this planet and I want to be a positive individual with great friends and family. The A's depression is their fault - they knew before they started drinking that alcohol is a depressant and it dehydrates your skin.

I agree I have to choose my battles he gets upset when I remind him
Of things and he says I'm making that up just
To confuse him. There is no winning with him.
He will get down in a depressed state for 3 4 days at
A time. I try to ignore it and just talk calm but then
He gets upset like I'm treating him like a child.
I will stay in my room to try to avoid arguing with
Him or I just go window shopping to be by my self.
Then when I get home he is upset that I'm never here
Or I never want to talk to him ugh what's a body
To do.
My Ah tell me too I should have a drink or two with him
It would help loosen me up. I just grin and shake my head
Little do they know this is what's killing him.
I wish everyone a next day Mother's Day

I could say this nicely or in psychological terms but here is my experience...... Long term alcoholism has made my husband BATSHIT crazy, just coconuts. I am trying to keep this in mind with each interaction.
If I remove myself to another room to read or something because looking at him passed out on the couch upsets me, when he wakes up he is weird about me being in another room. If I'm quiet and avoiding him ( and an argument) because I found a bottle of vodka under the couch in the basement when looking for my hand weights.....he wants to know why and won't let it go until I say, then he's angry. Go figure. Ugh

Well last night my AH actually told me I had or was developing dementia. You all know we try to avoid arguments with our AH's.It's like walking on egg shells for me as I'm sure it is for most everyone.Well last night he once again came home from work very drunk and was bragging about a recent triumph at work (He is actually is or anyway was a very intelligent man and is specialized in his work degrees) Anyway I was giving him ALL my attention as he read the back and forth E-mails between himself and some very high up Government Officials and...The phone rang,I probably should NOT have answered it but it was my grieving brother in law ~ Yes my sister just died and it hasn't even been a month since she has been gone. Well to make a long story a little shorter,When I got off the phone I looked around to continue the conversation with my AH who most of the time DEMANDS my attention or else!! Anyway I could find him nowhere...Continued looking and found him in our camper trailer so...I walked in and apologized for answering the phone and explained to him that it was my brother in law and asked him to please continue where he left off as I clearly saw the copy of his victorious E-mail still in hand. well he flew off the handle and said you don't give a blanking damn about me. I told him of course I do and he continued to yell at me and belittle me and just plain verbally abuse me so...I walked away and he pursued and said please just come back and sit with me I'm just going through quite a lot of stress at work so...I reluctantly re entered our camper trailer and sat down...As soon as I did this he began to verbally attack me once again and I guess I did the shall we say "unthinkable" I screamed back at him and took up for myself and he just got real quiet and had the most bewildered look on his face and said to me,I'm afraid your getting dementia dear and he said this quite seriously too!! I was like what ? He said why did you just say what you said to me when you came back in to sit down with me and I told him because you just said what you said to me That's Why!! And guess what his response was, Honey I never said those things to you your going crazy!! So wowsy wow what do You all think of that ? I'm the one with dementia Laugh Out Loud! Thanks for letting me vent. Has this sort of thing ever happened to any of You ? I still think it was the strangest thing that he was verbally abusing me one second and the very next second He says I would never say that to you ~ Like it never happened ! Weird no recollection at all !

Oh the stories we can tell, you just can't make this stuff up. And even though I am angry, resentful and grief filled, lately when he is screaming his usual stuff at me to shut me down I find myself trying not to laugh.

Oh yes. Mine is nuts. He just informed me that every time we are in bed asleep that if he rolls near me I jump like I've been electrocuted. That may be true but I can't be held responsible for what I do in my sleep!

I know what you mean. He will throw stuff away and then get mad at me because he can't find it .
I have been battling bronchitis and ear infection . But forget all of that he demanded me to help find what ever he wants.slamming drawers cussing God...knowing this bothers me to no end. Throwing temper tantrums
Going berserk because he can't find things he is looking for.
Then gets upset with me because I have no idea where it is......yes they are totally nuts.

We are too for putting up with them

You girls make me laugh! Omg! I think we are all married to the same man! My husband says that my memory
"Sucks", so if I try to tell him that I already told him something or he did not tell me something, it is never his fault it is my bad memory. I, also, sometimes find myself trying not to laugh when he is on one of his rants about whatever. I just keep waiting for him to go to bed so that I can enjoy my night. He says I don't spend enough time with him, but when we are together he won't talk to me. Basically I think his idea of spending time together is having sex, and I won't when he is drunk. Phew, what a crazy life! 29th anniversary was Sunday. I can't believe I have stayed this long.

Hugs and prayers
I know how you feel it's either laugh or cry.
I go to my room to that is my peaceful place. Sometimes he will come in just to talk his rants . I have to agree
With him before he leaves to go to his room..
I wonder a lot to myself ...Why