Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.

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Al anon

Pennygirl
Pennygirl

Hi just wondering if anyone has had luck with Al anon meetings.  I have tried all different ones and find most people there are either children, parents or siblings of an alcoholic.  Nobody seems to be actively living with one.  Does this mean that they are just too difficult to stay with?  Would like to find a group with people I can identify with.  Some days are just too hard to cope alone.  Can’t really discuss my situation with anyone I know since everyone likes my husband and of course only see him when he is sweet and sober.  So I would probably look like the bad guy talking about it.  Being the wife of an alcoholic is a very lonely place to be.

Catsden
Catsden
I tried to go to an Al Anon meeting, but never made it inside. I have heard that you need to "shop around" until you find your fit.
DSTRICK
DSTRICK
I tried a few years ago, my AH didn't like it he would always have something smart to say. Like the purpose of these meeting were to go and everyone bash their AH! Its not like that at all. I tried again a few months ago going with my nephew to support him, I haven't found one that I fit in with. Like you said they were mostly parents or divorced from spouse already. And I have a hard time talking publicly I start crying uncontrollably, it's just uncomfortable for me. Last year I tried seeing a therapist, the 1st session she let me tell her everything I wanted to say, it was good to vent but my 2nd visit was like "ok this is what you need to do" and started to give me a list of things to per say "get my ducts in a row" for divorce! I know I should have along time ago and maybe my reasons aren't good enough to continue this crazy life of abuse but that's not what I paid her for. She could have at least waited a few more visits....

Penny the sweet and sober that everyone else sees will disappear sooner or later! Right now the only people who have yet to see my AH's stupid drunk side is his co workers which the way alcohol is consuming him they have to know something is up..... I never wanted anyone to know, told my kids not to say things, made excuses with friends and my co workers. But you have to talk to someone or your going to explode! Your not the bad guy but yes you will feel like it. Even now at times I feel like i'm disrespecting him when I get into a conversation with someone and say something bad. Or when my grown children laugh at something stupid that he's done. No easy way with this disease for us or them. Sorry your dealing with this but your not alone you can vent anytime here and not be judged. Hugs and prayers
harrisbaby
harrisbaby
It can be. I've been there. I was with someone else who was alcoholic and went to my first Al Anon meeting. The speaker told her story and the conclusion was she finally had to leave!
I've separated from my AH twice and went back twice because I didn't want to be without him, not because he got better. he actually showed no sign of sobriety and I should have stayed away!
I hope you can find a group who have wives who deal with this with an active alcoholic. They can be hard to find because eventually they have to leave to preserve themselves.