Well another weekend of his drunkeness, big arguemnt saturday night calling me a Liar when I say that I love him! Just because I can't except the fact that he doesn't think he can give it up.... I lived with this BS for 30 years and i'm still there. Not just there just because I can't afford to leave i'm there also because I do love him and I feel like I need to take care of him. He has a bad disease and I know that it's difficute to just quit. But I still don't recall him asking for my HELP, all he wants is for me to except the fact that he has this problem. To except it I would have to own it, I don't like what it does to him and I don't like the person I am when he sets me off. I don't know what else to do. I have ignored him when he's drinking and I have tried to do for me and not give in to his every need. I've tried staying away at nights to get some rest, i've had to block him from text messages. We have no communication, I used to have the sober morning to try and get throught to him. Not anymore he doesn't wanna hear me and accuses me of belittling him. He left last night but I think it was only to prove a point. In our argument sat night he stated that he WAS DONE and he would be leaving the next day. Well last night when I went to leave for the night (staying with my daughter) he said don't bother "i'm leaving cause i'm not a liar" Why can't they see the damage that comes from even the littlest words or actions??? Just found out that he's off work the entire week and he stayed in a motel last night. Here I am worring about how I will pay the bills and buy Christmas if he decides not to come home. Good thing he has his bank account and his Whiskey to keep him happy! 

This week should be about family and what we are THANKFUL for....