I have been there as well, this last weekend with my husband actually. Our fights comes from his binge drinking and that he thinks he is able to look me in the eye and lie to me. My heart gets smashed, knowing the choice he has made, and when I am hurt I get angry. It is hard not to lash out when your feelings are on the line. So, don't beat yourself up too hard about it. However, you know that he has been unfaithful with other women and the booze, I would eject myself from the situation. But even as I say this, I know that it is easier said than done. This is not the first time for my husband either, and every time I threaten to leave him, and after a week it goes back to normal and the process repeats itself.

I wish I could tell you that it will get better, but honestly, I have my own doubts. Rather than focusing on his false promises and words, I am choosing to focus on myself, I am not going to accept responsibility for his actions. I will also no longer accept that this is how things are going to be, should he choose to walk away from treatment, he will have made the decision to walk away from his family.

I wish you well, and I will be here to listen if you need.

singer, don't be so hard on yourself we all have our breaking point. Speaking to you from my journey, I have been with my AH for 31 yrs, We have 2 grown children a son and a daughter. I never knew the life of Alcoholism since no one in my family suffered with addiction so when I met my AH he was this wonderful man that helped me out of an abusive relationship with my thought to be 1st love whom was into experimenting with different drugs, he was physically abusive and cheated on me whenever he had the chance, so what if my AH drank everyday, he didn't abuse or run around so I thought everything would be fine. All I wanted was a family and he has always been a good provider has worked his same job for 27 yrs now. But over the years the drinking seemed to get worst. (I didn't mention that his father was an alcoholic so he knew all about the disease) we didn't waste anytime having our children and them growing up they seen the craziness of dad and booze but I always covered for him making excuses and playing the role of protector with my kids to make sure they never got caught in the middle of our arguments. I regret so much today not doing with my kids, I once took my daughter to therapy for her anixty and actually told her to not mention to the doctor what went on when daddy was drinking! God I felt for sure when she hit her teen years that I would pay for that big time. I do have to say that all they seen and heard probably has made them both better parents and my daughter a better spouse to her husband, I still worry about my son following in his dads footsteps with the addiction since he's acquired the same liking to Jim Beam as he does. I guess what i'm saying is we can protect our children because thats what moms do but we also have to take care of them and I myself stayed just for that.... To take care of them to make sure they had the things in life that I couldn't provide them with. I've sacrificed to make sure of this but would I change the past?? If I knew then what I know now YES I think I would do things so much differerent! I love my AH but i'm not in love with him and haven't been for some time now but I have things holding me there for now. Your young and you have a little one, yes you can make it and yes you would most likely be happier! If you stay or leave your little girl will be fine because of you! Take care and hold your head up high. Praying for you.

I too can admit lashing out i front of my child. Sometimes I get so frustrated I dont even notice who's in the room. If leaving a AH was easy this thread wouldnt exsist. Many woman suffer with that. ..we know we would probably be better off separated and know at some point in our lives its going to happen we just can't seem to take that next step to make it happen sooner than later. My AH dad was an alcoholic as well. I look at his dad and he turned out okay. He has mild anger issues but he eventually over came his addiction. Then I look at my AH hrandfather whos in his 80s and drinks a bottle of MD to himself every night now. He was a recovering as well but starting drinking again a few yrs ago causing so much pain in my grandmothet in law. It just something you will have to live with for the rest of your life. You never know when it will return. I feel like you can never find happiness with an alcoholic. I hope im.wrong because theres something still there with my AH thats keeping me here.