It's good you have had some time alone to think and reflect. You are right- you deserve to be loved for who you are. Hard to realize but so important to know! Proud of you and your instincts.

Many hugs and prayers for Pease and strength

Katie - I understand about that strong conviction until speaking to him. On the phone (not in person) I hear the person I fell in love with - the one who I created an entire future around. It's hard, so very hard, to keep to decisions or promises to ourselves when we hear their voices. Hear what we've been waiting for so long to hear. All the right things. Remember, it's not the words but his actions that will ultimately give you answers to any doubts you may have about his commitment to sobriety.

Many hugs!

Thank you Ginny. I know this is true. Fast forward to the present and as the slogan goes and has been found to be true so very often, patience and more will be revealed, and so it has. I have found that my AH has been seeing a local stripper as well as met someone in rehab. I don't care if he has seen either of them once, twice, or a dozen times, it is proof further that a divorce is what is necessary. I don't care how sweet he is when he calls or when I see him one of the boys events, I know who he is. I pray that changes in the future for the boys sake, but no longer for mine.

Prayers to you! I think all of us dream of a day where we are loved more than the alcohol. Which would mean, of course, the alcoholic loving themselves more than the alcohol, and the ability to prioritize the marriage and family over the alcohol. I commend you for taking these hard steps!

I am so sorry Katie, he's adding fuel to the fire. But... I hear your determination shining through! Good for you!

Sorry to hear this but its best for you. Also best that its your decision vs his. I waited too long for him to get better and then he started the sleeping around. I divorced him for it but struggle very much of completely letting go emotionally. I'm divorced and have been for over 4 years but can't seem to get to point of emotionally letting go. So back to counseling I have gone. I think they enjoy in a way letting us "know" about the other women. Like it feeds their ego.


Can honestly say I suck at the "no contact" but when I have done it, I do my best. Suggest you do that. Find the strength to resist contact. Good luck

I met with him today at his request. I picked a public venue so I could leave if I needed to. The anticipation of the meeting was more stressful than the actual meeting itself. I had a lot of anxiety and as the meeting went on the anxiety level dropped. I responded only to things I needed to and kept quiet on the things that didn't matter. He had so many apologies and one of them was for the stripper. He admitted it, but he also said that he didn't remember her and that the last meet up with her at the strip club was in order to tell her he was an alcoholic, he didn't remember her, and didn't want a relationship with her. I didn't say a thing, but I did wonder why it necessary to go TO the strip club to tell her what he could have text/or called to tell her. For pete's sake, he text me to tell me he was leaving my twice in one year!! She, on the other hand, gets a personal visit!
Anyway, he claims to be proudly 48 days sober. He is agreeable to the divorce and says he does need to focus on his recovery and this may be a good thing. However, I hear in his voice that he hopes over the long haul he can win me back. Where I'm at this moment, I do not believe this to be possible ever tho I do want a friendly relationship with him for the sake of my kids.

ahahaha I am so proud of you Kaite! darn right you deserve to be happy and stress free
screw him and his problems. You are better off without his ass; Dose it not feel like being freed? Not having to worry anymore?
There comes a point when enough is enough. And codependency can become a huge problem for women to take a look at a situation and realize that it isn't good and they need to get out. BUT they choose to stay and be abused and taken advantage of because they have become dependent on needed someone even if that someone is toxic
Stay strong and be firm he needs to just concentrate on recovery and you need to concentrate on becoming whole again

I We all must follow our hearts and our life goals. You do deserve
Happiness and real love . No one but us know the heartbreak and
Loneliness we go thru living with a alcholic. The important days that
Was ruined by their sick humor. The days left stranded we we needed
Their help then when they come they are drunk. We all have to think
Is it really worth all the pain and sacrifice to be with someone that
Puts us after his/her good time friends and drinking.
My AH and I were talking one day about having people in life
That no matter what comes in life we can count on to be their for
Us and I told him I had always hope that I could feel secure enough
That I can count on him but I also had my doubts . He got offened
At the thought of not counting him to take care of me when I'm sick
Or comming to my rescue when I need help. ..I started telling him the
Multiple times I have needed his help and he has either not came or
Came drunk then I have more stress.
He was in total shock that I would even think such a thing . ..
His reply .I don't want to talk about this anymore.....
I'm glad you have found the strength to say enough.
Many Hugs and prayers.