Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.

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Help!

2soft4ah
2soft4ah
Anyone have any ideas how I can help my husband? He is not living at home, he has been drunk for two weeks now, whiskey drunk. He will not listen to anyone, says let me come home and help me, but I know he won't do anything once he is here. He is absolutely irate with me and his mother, blames us for all his problems. I don't know if anyone has ever had to call Adult Protective Services on their AH for a welfare check. No rehab will take him unless it's his choice to go, he can't go to mental health facility because he's drunk. I don't know what to do he's going to drink himself to death!
rummi
rummi
Im so sorry for your struggle. I completely understand what you are going through. The difference is my husband is in our home drinking his life away. I really dont know what advice to offer you other than to say to leave it in Gods hands. You are powerless over his addiction. He has to make the commitment to quit. If dying alone drunk on some street corner that is totally his choice. YOu cannot carry that burden for him. Again I am sorry for your struggle and I will pray for you and your husband.
snowbodyinparticular
snowbodyinparticular
I think all of us wish we had the answer to your question. If we did, we would post here less often and quit taking much of the blame for the actions of others.

Like Rummi said, "You are powerless over his addiction." We can only be responsible for that which we have control over. The worst part is we suffer the consequences sometimes for the actions of others.

I think it hurts you to feel like you have given up on him, but really you did the best thing you could do for both of you. I hope you are able to stick to your guns. If you are not able to stand by your decision to let him suffer alone, I do not think there is one woman in this forum who would criticize you.

In fact, many of us are probably jealous to some extent of your strength. It is hard to watch someone we love suffer the consequences of his/her actions--no matter what the offense is. It is extremely hard to watch when we believe we could intervene a little and alleviate some of the suffering. That is why so many spouses if alcoholics are enablers.

Sending you happy thoughts and wishing you a great week.
Ginny03
Ginny03
This business of loving an alcoholic, letting an alcoholic go, and taking care of ourselves is not easy. It goes against every grain in our body to let our loved ones try to figure this out on their own but it's the only way. No matter that we've tried, we're willing to help, the alcoholic has got to want it, more than anything else. 2soft, I hope you'll take to heart that by letting him deal with his own behavior and the outcomes of his behavior, is the best thing for him but more importantly it's the best for you.