I met my, now husband, 7 years ago. On our first date he had to breathe into a breathalizer that was installed in his truck per terms of his DUI. Red flag! I only saw him drink socially, but it was a lot for anyone. After a couple years, things picked up and his drinking was not just social, but solo too. We would be on vacation and he'd have to throw up numerous times or he would crawl from the bed to the bathroom to vomit.

He started to notice his behavior and the drinking dissipated, for a while. We were engaged soon after this. The drinking continued, but after a year, he began hiding any kind of alcohol. I would find it under the bed, behind the tv, in nooks and crannies. He would tell me he wasn't hiding it, that he'd just set it their or didn't feel like putting it in the trash. I started to search for bottles and the more I searched the more I found, and the more I found the more we argued. I told him before we got married that this would have to stop. He would need to tell me when he planned on having a drink and he had to keep his drinks in the fridge (not hidden). He agreed!

We have been married for a little over 2 years now. The first year went well. But this second year...oye! He started to hide again. What he fails to acknowledge, is that I can tell he's been drinking by the look in his eyes, his tone of voice, or his walking abilities. I can always tell, but that doesn't stop him from making me feel like I am stupid or that it is all in my head or that I am paranoid.

Last month we had a big argument, but the resolution seemed to have been worht it: he said he'd stop drinking around me. That worked for a couple weeks. During those weeks he was the man I fell in love with: romantic, kind, attentive. I even wanted to be intimate with him. It was too good to be true. I noticed this past week that he seemed angrier. When he gets home he is good for an hour or two and then he gets angry or worked up. I couldn't tell what was causing it. Then, tonight, I realized he is drinking and hiding it from me.

He changes on a dime: one minute happy then angry and sad. He has never been physically abusive, but his verbage feels abusive. Tonight he told our dog and I, "F*** you guys!" He told me that I don't give a sh** about him and never have. He told our dog to die so that my husband could be put out of his misery. He too, repeats questions and when I tell him he has asked me that already, he gets mad and defensive. As he starts to get tired, the ramblings become less coherent. I try to talk along, so that he doesn't get mad if I don't answer; it's like I am always walking on eggshells.

I want to leave. I know that this is not what I signed up for, but how do I do this? Our dog is like my child. I will protect her and I will even stay with my husband if that means being with her. When we fight he threatens to leave with her (she was his to begin with, but we have a stronger bond). I worry about leaving her alone with him. He plays so rough with her sometimes and if he does it when he's intoxicated he could hurt her. I cannot let that happen. I am praying! I can take our dog and go to my parents or a hotel until things get sorted, but there's no telling what my husband might do.

I read the posts from people in the group and didn't realize, until tonight, that my husband truly is an alcoholic. Help! What should I do???