Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.

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shy2008 12/13/2014

I dont know how many times i have said im fed up with all his lies, deceit, and all over bullshit. excuse my language and spelling i just have to vent about my daughter's dad. I cant even say boyfriend and i dont think i ever really concidered him to be, 98 percent of the time we dont seem like we are. I work full time and recently finished up my semester as a part time student while he got to kick back at home with satellite tv and internet and not once seem to be posting resumes for job sites. All the while he complains of not having a job, fantasizes about what he would do if he had money...ugh talk about a douche, he had a job many times and i not once seen a dime from his loser ass. Every paycheck he would disappear and come back lookin like shit from all the partying im sure. Today was the last straw, came home from a 8 hour shift and hes plastered again, yup last nite he did the same now again hes at it, all i can think is how the fk he can do this while he has no money no job but his so called drunk friends who have no jobs. The worse part is i have family visiting from out of town and he doesnt care to at least chill out on his drinking...ugh im embarressed of what they will say to family back home..i feel like i cant reach happiness or become stress free. Well i found out he took my debit card and used it for his drinks, all this while knowing that i am at the end of my rope in my finances. Seriously i need out of this, but i cant stand to see my lil girl hurt or asking about her dad..im so confused on what is the best option for us...i just want a better happier life for us..

angrylittleasiangirl 12/13/2014

Tomorrow will be one week since I literally walked out. After walking out the first time before Thanksgiving after he physically abused me and I had him arrested. After he got out of jail, he promised he would change. He stayed sober for the week, but he was verbally abusive, blaming me for everything. Calling me every ugly name he could think of. He hasn't held a job longer than 2 months, then he goes on a major drink binge. The longest I've seen him sober is 2 1/2 weeks. Its always something, and when he drinks he becomes mean. In the last 7 months he's broken, 2 lamps, too many plates and glasses to count, 1 vacuum, a desk top, as well as chairs, and our sofa table.

For me staying would mean taking the constant verbal and physical abuse. I've lost my own sense of self. I used to laugh a lot and be real confident, but day by day, he's taken that from me.

Only you will know when the time is right to go, I didn't want to leave because of the holidays, but I couldn't take it anymore. I may not have a real great Christmas this year, but by leaving, it will be peaceful.

I will pray for you tonight.

bonblue 12/14/2014

Prayers and hugs for you and your baby girl.
You can use this to show your your daughter how to survive and be happy
In todaus society women have to rely on their self for
Happiness and fulfillment ..you can do it.

Merry Christmas wishes with many hugs and prayers

KatieDarling 12/14/2014

Hi there... big hugs to you! The only thing you can do is put your daughter first. I hope he isn't the one caring for her while your away at work, that could be a serious disaster. You can't worry about what family says, and if they ask, just tell them them the truth because it isn't a reflection on you, you did nothing. Your BF owns this all on his own. Know the three C's: you didn't cause it, you cant control it, and you cant cure it. There is literally nothing you can do about it. He will have to hit what ever his bottom is and that bottom isn't determined by you, your daughter, or anyone else.
Hugs again... It is SOOOO stinking hard to love an alcoholic. We keep hanging on to hope. Please take care of yourself and your daughter.

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