And I was the AH. I read your stories of what the spouses go thru. It was the little bit of help I needed to get help. I found a local Aa group and somehow just focus on staying sober. 

see for the alcoholic quitting is just the beginning. Somehow we have built up fears and resentments against anybody and everything if we just quit then all these fears and resentments cause nothing but pain and eventually we have to drink again.

The key I found was to deal with all of these emotions that's basically what a 12 step program does.

I will say a prayer for all of the spouses of alcoholics out there because you are the true Saints.