WINGS Community Group
This is a place firstly and foremost for Support for all Women.. Whether it be every day life issues, family or emotional support, we care and we are here to listen and support, to share the good things in life as well, to smile with each other and to give gentle encouragement and pleasant thoughts along the way.. Please feel free to ask for support and post in the...
These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites !
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FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
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FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
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COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.
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JOINING NUDIST COLONY !
Must sell washer and dryer $100.
_____________________________________________________________
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.
___________________________________________________________
And the WINNER is...
FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, $200 or best offer.
No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.
(Statement of the Century)
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Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly.
" If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking,
How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time " ?
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Children Are Quick
TEACHER: Why are you late ?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor ?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile' ?
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water ?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about ?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty ?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, ' I am.'
MILLIE: All right... ' I am the ninth letter of the alphabet. '
________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating ?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his ?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested ?
HAROLD: A teacher
__________________________________
Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites !
___________________________________________
FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
________________________________________________
FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
_______________________________________________________
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.
________________________________________________________
JOINING NUDIST COLONY !
Must sell washer and dryer $100.
_____________________________________________________________
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.
___________________________________________________________
And the WINNER is...
FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, $200 or best offer.
No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.
(Statement of the Century)
___________________________________________________________
Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly.
" If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking,
How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time " ?
____________________________________________________________
Children Are Quick
TEACHER: Why are you late ?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor ?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile' ?
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water ?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about ?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty ?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, ' I am.'
MILLIE: All right... ' I am the ninth letter of the alphabet. '
________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating ?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his ?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested ?
HAROLD: A teacher
__________________________________
Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
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" Name A Term Used In Football " ?
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
I loved the Billy Connolly one, I think he's great and I loved all the kids ones thanks Barbara love Sharon