Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
You know, I used to think widows were older ladies in there 70-90. They had a long life with their spouse and it was the end of their journey together. Now, here I am, at 44 a widow. And I only had 12 short years with my Mitchie. I'm young, my husband was only 49 when he died. I know no one my age that is a widow. I am at a loss. I try to keep up with my friends that are married, I love them, but I find it painful to be around them with their spouses. Do any of you have that problem? The image of them together is almost painful when I consider that I'm alone now. What do I do now? I don't know how to start my life over again. Mitch and I had plans for the future, for when our kids had started their own lives. Now I have one child at home, only 12, and I am stuck. I feel like I just can't move forward. How do you get on with your life? How do you move forward? Everyone tells me not to make any big changes, but I feel stagnant. I'm also overwhelmed trying to take care of our daughter and our home, paying the bills and keeping us going. I go to work and come home and go to church on Sunday. Speaking of church, do any of you have problems being at church without your spouse? I can go to Sunday School but sitting in the sanctuary is impossible for me. Anyone have any insights?
Flo
Flo
I am raising five now on my own and with no family on his side or mine. It is the most painful the most difficult thing I have ever had to endure and I often wonder if I am up to the task. I am their only parent my two boys needed their father and deserved the father they had and they are only 6 and 3. I am alone and lonely and slowly waking up even after 8 1/2 months to the idea that my husband has died. I have been posting about my struggles recently with the grief seemingly overwhelming me worse than when Frankie first passed. I am in agony, yet I run the entire house. I take care of everything, kids bills yardwork everything. I must mention that I do have a tremendous church family and they love us and although they would be here for me I don't ask for help, nothing has presented where I felt like it warranted me interrupting another family.
There is so much love and support here. I encourage you to post to ask to write in your journal to read others stories and make friends here with those who understand and empathize in a way no knew else can.
I am so sorry you lost your love and you are alone with the burden of raising your daughter and all the life that comes with being Mom and Dad. I understand and I am in the same position.
I go to Sunday School and I go to the Sanctuary and I worship with tears flowing most of the time but I feel like I'm doing exactly what Frank is doing....worshipping God so I do it and I sing through tears with the image in my head that my Frankie is doing the same thing and with joy I will not know until I am there.
HUGS TO YOU
Cindy
I am 36 and my husband died when he was 40. I am just shy of 6 months since his death. I can only speak for myself, but the way I get on with my life is for my children. I tell myself almost every day that their childhood did not end and does not get to stop because their daddy died. But with saying this, they see me have good days and bad ones. I think it is important that they see me struggle, yet they see me get up and I keep on going. Some days are so hard to do this. Being around couples is pretty much impossible right now for me. My friends have been good about planning things with just us and the kids- leaving the husbands at home. Also, I think everyone will understand if you need to take a break from church for a few weeks (or more). We can only do so much as we are learning our new ways plus grieving. I wish you all the best. I also try not to think about all the future plans that died with him. It is way too sad for me to deal with the big picture. Hugs to you.
Flo