wonderful thoughts. In yoga class today, our instructor during meditation said - ''remember you are a light'' - every person, no matter what has the opportunity to light the way for others. Every day we have the opportunity to help someone, to change the world, to create, and to make this world better. No, I'm not anything special - believe me - but the knowledge that we can....that we have today.... is so powerful, and such an opportunity. xoxo Peace. Vicki

I agree! We have to move forward to make the best of our life now. It is never going to be like it was.
Doye

Thank you, for your words to encourage us to move forward. Sometimes I just get so caught up in the loneliness and pain it is hard and you inspire me to try harder, hugs Lu Ann

Yes, this is very true - but I just wanted to add, dwelling in the past for a while is also necessary in order to move forward. Grieving also involves a lot of understanding (of the situation and of oneself) and acceptance - and both take time. Just sayin' from experience - and this can go side by side with thankfulness for the day. Hugs, Marsha

I struggle with loneliness everyday....

I am still struggling with the moving forward part. I am well aware i cant go back but i am still at the part of looking over my shoulder longing for what was. I know i must go forward as to not get stuck, but i am still mustering the strength. I pray constantly for the strength. I come here for the encouragement.

How true but its hard to know now what to go forward to?
Before your future was certain to some extent: retiring, traveling, working & go on vacation, seeing family & friends at certain times w/ your loved ones - plus several all given things
NOW there are no certain given things due to changes beyond your control - I just hate uncertainty - have I ever said that before?

I move forward some days moment by moment, try to not let my
head go too far into the future as it makes me sad & depressed,
we only have today for sure ......

Life is a tapestry of moments in time, but they are always moving and when they are gone they exist only as memories. We all think back to blissful, exciting, splendid periods in our lives. Times when the kids were at a particularly wonderful age, times when we were in a job that fulfilled us, groups of friends that had joyous connections. When those moments in time pass we often struggle to recreate them usually with less than successful results. The reason is that the particular time was the result of a myriad of conditions that happened to be in alignment and we will never be able to get them all to align again despite our best efforts. At some point in time we need to stop trying to recreate them and just make ourselves open to the next wonderful moment that will present itself, which we will miss if we spend all our efforts futilely trying to recreate the past moments.

Unfortunately our lives with our soul mates is a montage of those moments in time, a rich tapestry of moments, but now gone forever. At a certain point we have to file it into the wonderful memory category and make ourselves open to new moments in time.

It is easy to say, philosophically, its just hard to live. I am doing my best and at times am open to joy and have found some.

Peace to all.

-Pete-

Well put Pete thanks for sharing you write beautifully ....Peace be
With you too....

Thanks Pete ... you say what we are going through so very well. I try to move forward, in small steps, but I still find myself looking back. My head says to move forward, but the heart is hard of hearing.

I'm like slgooch and nicker07. Know I can't keep looking back but don't want to look forward. Nothing to look forward to. I also come here for a pick me up. I am trying to find one bright spot in each day but is usually something about the weather and not my life.

I am reading 365 Thank Yous.
I have decided to try it. I just feel that even though I'm going thru so much pain and hurt, missing Jeff, I need to remember those around me who have done something for me or shown kindness. The first few days to find someone to hand write a "thank you " to, are easy to find. But, as the days go by, it gets more complicated to decide who you should thank and why?
Anyone else ever read this book or tried it?

I try to move in baby steps. I try to plan things to look forward to but at the same time I think of my husband how he would have loved doing this. I take a step back again. I have always considered myself independent but now I am finding myself so lonely without him because I miss him so much it is so painful. Just like loransw my head says to move forward but my heart does not hear.

When Joe and I married, I thought it would last until my last dying breath. How could I have been so insulated from truth? As I look back over my life, I categorize different periods: my elementary school days, my highschool days, college, marriage and children, moving to another state, kids grown and gone, divorce, singlehood for 9 years, then MY LIFE WITH JOE. It was the best chapter of my life. Each period seems to be a distinct and separate part of my life, like a chapter in a book. I never dreamed that this chapter would only last 15 years and our "reward" for working our entire lives, to be able to rest, travel,have fun, would not happen. In other words, this chapter, too, has ended. I am in a new chapter that so far sucks. However, a few nice things have snuck in, like 2 new very good friends who never knew Joe. So far, this chapter has been like me being in the ICU of life. But I am looking out the window to see what out there interests me and how I can help others. That is my only reason for existence now, is to help others. I have begun doing this and it has brought great rewards. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and my chapter will begin, one day, to sound like a good chapter, I hope. I wish the best of new experiences to all of you here at DS.
(((Hugs)))
Kathleen