Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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bookdragon 04/22/2015

A couple of weeks ago I was in an accident. I was not my fault, but because my car is older they are not going to fix it, and they are giving me next to nothing for it. I now have to shop for a new vehicle which is a first for me alone. I was feeling that the worst was behind me. It has been 3 months. I am sitting here sobbing over a stupid car!!! I can look at the positive which is i can afford a new car, but all I can think of is I don't want to do this alone.

GeorgiaW 04/22/2015

I guess I've been "lucky". My husband had Alzheimer's so the last five or six years of his life I was making decisions and doing things by myself Yet it all feels different with him gone

andyless 04/22/2015

I can feel your pain. I received a small inheritance when my father passed away and my kids convinced me to buy a new car. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. I know nothing about cars, my husband took care of all of that stuff. Try to have someone go with you, I wish I had done that. Even if they know nothing about cars, the moral support would help.

dschwartz 04/22/2015

I agree w/ andyless . . do you have a "male" friend or family member to go with you? Also, I would do some pre-research on line. Consumer Reports would be a good start.

You will find the energy and strength and be amazed afterwards of your capability to do this!!

Glad you weren't hurt in the car accident . . remember to count your blessings. Hugs, D

sandy28 04/22/2015

It's been 5 months today...since my husband went out for his run and didn't come back. I bought a car about 3 weeks ago and I did take a male friend but it was still very sad and stressful. My husband ALWAYS took care of car purchases. I would just tell him what I thought I wanted and he would research and locate it. The sales guy kept asking me if I was excited about my car and all I could say was "it's bittersweet". I was thankful that I could purchase a vehicle but it just reminded me of WHY I was purchasing a vehicle. If my husband was still here I would be driving my old car with the "promise" that if anything happened or needed repairing he would take care of it. EVERYTHING IS A REMINDER!!!! And the FIRSTS seem to never stop.

russ1153 04/22/2015

There are places likke Carmax whrre the price listed is what uou pay so no haggling. Also check out car sites lite cars.com and carguru.com that will allow you to check out cars near you from the comfort of your home.
Russ

BCHRISTINA 04/22/2015

Hi!! I can relate! I also cried like a baby trying to figure out what to do since I had to turn in our leased car and shop for a new one. My advice to you is do not do it on your own. I asked for my best friends husband to help and they both came with me. I didnt have to say a word. Can you "borrow" someone else's husband?!

bookdragon 04/22/2015

my daughter is going to come car shopping, i have researched cars and will test drive two awd suvs (I live in Alberta and the roads can be brutal in winter). i am feeling a bit better so thanks for all that positive energy. :)

maryelnew 04/22/2015

do you have a mechanic? my husband was a mechanic and for a nominal fee he would car shop with his customers both for new and used cars - for some of his better customers he didn't charge at all - just a thought

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