Losing your partner when you had just become a new mom must be excruciating. I lost my husband after 30 years of marriage, our children were 24 and 27. Our situations are so different and yet we have both lost a love. I don't know when or how long it will take you but it's been almost 3 years for me and I'm doing better only recently. It's been a battle, a real roller coaster. You are raising your son alone and I'm sure that presents challenges as well. Things will change in time, 2 years is not that long in this situation. Hang in there and try to have time for yourself to find a bit of a new life. I wish you peace. Marybeth

I lost my husband in early 2013 and I was coasting until the start of September 2017 that I started to feel joy in my life again. I did laugh , I did seem happy but there was always a big void. That void is still there , don't get me wrong but a new job and the feeling of finally be where I am meant to be brought a new purpose to my life and I am no longer just coasting. Yes I still miss him and have grieve attacks on occasions but I do feel some happiness. True happiness and laughter once again.

For what it is worth, I believe your grief will ease over time. My first husband died 2 1/2 years ago. I recently remarried. On a happy scale of 1-10 with 10 being the happiest- I’d rate myself at a 7-8 and some days maybe even a 9. Not sure a 10 will ever be possible again. I have lost the innocence of not understanding how quickly a loved one can be gone and exactly how devastating losing a significant other may be. But still, I would say I am happy.

I have bad moments and bad days.- but, the bad times are tempered by the fact that I know they will pass and joy will come again.

May you find peace,
Robyne

You will be happy again. It's only a year and a half. You are doing so much with taking care of your little boy, keeping up your home, going to school plus going to work . You are to be commended. If it's possible try to take some time to take part in an activity that you enjoy where you can be with people your age if you have family that can care for your little guy. I found that Exercise can help lift the mood. Wishing you strength and comfort. Love and Hugs, Dolores

Yes, it can be okay, but I think probably the biggest obstacle is letting go of the idea that only one way - the way it used to be or that you had planned it to be - could be okay. The acceptance that different can be just as good or at least nearly as good can take awhile to get to. The shrinks will tell you it takes 2-5 years to accept a major loss (spouse/partner or child). That's the average. Some reach that sooner, others take a bit longer.

My life doesn't look anything like it did before Cliff died, but it's good. Different isn't always such a bad thing.

I hope you have had some kind of support over the last couple years. A face-to-face grief group would be really helpful for you I think. Being alone with just a small child for company makes things harder, so I hope there is something you can access locally, too. I had counseling and it helped. Have you been able to access anything like that?

Don't give up - it will get easier, but it will be different.

Love and Hugs,
Martha