Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
My best friend since the age of 15 and I are taking a trip next week. Going to Colorado. So why should she or I feel guilty about that? She lost her husband 4 years ago to a very rare brain disease and I had no way of knowing what she has gone through until now as I walk this journey. I know there was probably a little jealousy that our husband's felt of our friendship as she and I did share things only the two of us could. Why we ask have we found ourselves in this bizarre journey? How rare can it be that two women so close so dear to each other, best friends both end up widows at such a young age? And now we are right back to where we started, just the two of us. What was or is the purpose? We really have no intinerary planned. We are more on a soul searching mission. Trying to find some peace and comfort. And a break from the dredges of everday life. I need this trip and I know she does too. We may just end up in a motel room crying our eyes out, or soaking in the surrounding beauty. The mountains were one of my husband's and I's favorite places and it will definately be a challange to not be there with him. But I am hoping the beauty, and serenity will fill our souls with comfort and peace. Maybe help us get a grasp on this challenging journey. Maybe help us move toward a better place and understanding and help put the agony behind us. This is nothing we have ever done. We always went with our husbands. But they are not here. Yet we will be taking their spirits with us to share. There are many things about the dying process of our soul mates that we haven't shared as they are too agonizing. But I feel we will share them, just the two of us and be there to help each other through this process. So why the guilt? It's not like we are looking for replacements for them. No one could ever fill their shoes. I just want us to find our souls to find some sort of acceptance, to find a reason for us to make a new life while taking their memories and their love with us til the end of our lives. Thank you all for being there for me. Hugs to all, Michele
A Friend and I were having a discussion recently on Destiny and Fate!,
Your post has reminded me of this all over again....Who knows what life brings us!!!
I can only look at this as a Gift...a beautiful gift, you and your grieving friend can Share. Just to have time, to Be. Make the Most of this time,
Michele...I believe , it is a true blessing. I know If I have something good, my first thought is to Share it with My Ben....Don't let Guilt,
Overshadow the Love and Devotion you have for your husband.
Hugs for you and your grieving friend....Sandra
Maggie
Something similar happened to me. Our best friend as a couple were wonderful when my husband died. A short 3 years later her husband passed on my husband's birthday. Our love and support helped both of us get through each day. Sharon
Enjoy your trip! (And pack a lot of kleenex!)
Love and Hugs,
Martha
Her husband was 14 years older then her and mine eight years younger. Both of us had wonderful lives with these men and such happy marriages that no one expected to last
Her husband died last year on Dec 7 and mine this year on Valentine's Day. Like me she can't picture her future without him. I know neither of our husbands would want us to feel guilty if we had an adventure and my daughter keeps trying to think of things out of the norm we could do. I hope when the time comes I can do them without guilt
Sometimes it's needed, a new experience, a new view. Have a wonderful trip! Safe travels!
Hugs!
Ruthann