Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I recently looked in PlentyOfFish.com which is free. I surveyed the men's pictures to see if I feel any attraction at all for the men there. There were some very attractive executive types, some casual types such as farmers and fishermen, some who came on too strong in their outgoing messages.
Here's the strange part. I didn't feel ANY connection to the guys without hair or with too much hair. I didn't feel any connection with thin or fit men. I didn't connect with any who did not have a HUGE smile on their faces. I suddenly realized that I was only drawn to men who looked similar to my Joe. He had gorgeous gray hair. He was a few pounds overweigh (so am I) and usually had a great big smile on his face. I don't trust people who don't smile! However, I have nothing against bald men. I loved a man for several years when I was single who was bald. I cannot stand facial hair on a man. That lets out a whole LOT of them.
Weird, but it seems all I want is someone who looks a lot like my Joe. There is one who has been writing me that has all these characteristics. I just somehow find myself "feeling" more comfortable with a man looking much like Joe. Anyone else?
Here's the strange part. I didn't feel ANY connection to the guys without hair or with too much hair. I didn't feel any connection with thin or fit men. I didn't connect with any who did not have a HUGE smile on their faces. I suddenly realized that I was only drawn to men who looked similar to my Joe. He had gorgeous gray hair. He was a few pounds overweigh (so am I) and usually had a great big smile on his face. I don't trust people who don't smile! However, I have nothing against bald men. I loved a man for several years when I was single who was bald. I cannot stand facial hair on a man. That lets out a whole LOT of them.
Weird, but it seems all I want is someone who looks a lot like my Joe. There is one who has been writing me that has all these characteristics. I just somehow find myself "feeling" more comfortable with a man looking much like Joe. Anyone else?
Don't give up, sometimes someone completely different from your husband is the best. You aren't trying to replace him. You want companionship right now. Think of it as new friends.
Good Luck,
Paula
I tried bc my mom encouraged me and said, this is how ppl meet these days, just a word to the wise....it is very easy to fake who U really are in a simple profile.....the one guy I met was the complete OPPOSITE of his profile, I don't blame him, he really THOUGHT that was who he was, and for a while was able to pull it off, but then the REAL him emerged and he was setting up his next profile and dates before we ever parted ways....not saying this is the norm...just a word of caution.
If U are not attracted to any of these men, it may be because your not truly ready to move on, nobody will ever replace your lost love.
I think it's ok for companionship as long as you take the time to get to know the real person.
When I became a Widower, suddenly and unexpectedly, I was keenly aware would that I would never, I say that in all seriousness, be another woman that I would allow to know me as I did my beloved wife to know me. When we met, over the internet, I did not know her at all . Nor did she know me. She was encouraging Men of Faith that day. She sent me an encouraging note, right before my lunch hour.
I thought perhaps she was a woman I had met 1 year earlier from Florida. My beloved wife, then a total stranger, was willing to voice verify she was NOT this woman who had been quite troubled and violent toward others. I severed all contact with that woman.
I promptly made a phone call to speak with my beloved wife, then a total stranger, and was assured she was not the woman I had thought she may be. She and I then talked through my lunch hour. At the end of my lunch hour she offered to communicate further with me, if I wanted to. We spoke every day from that day forward unto the day she suddenly and unexpectedly passed on 02/06/12 to live in HEAVEN.
At that time of my meeting her over the phone I knew she would be my wife. I had prayed for my wife to be sent to me. AND she was. MY prayers were answered. Actually my beloved wife told me she knew this also at the time, that I would marry her and become her husband. That I was the Man of Faith she prayed to come into her life. Miracles do happen. This was one for she and I. A match made in HEAVEN. A true love story of eternal bonding...
I encourage you to trust yourself. I know I am doing just that. I have no desire to pursue dating. The love bond my beloved wife and I shared and remains, will forever satisfy my heart and soul. As I noted herein above, everyone is an individual, with certain likes an dislikes. I understand. Follow your heart. I did years ago and my beloved wife came into my life. What a gift indeed
(((HUGS)))
Genuinely,
BEAR
I have found amazing men behind the counter at the parts store, looking for organic food at the specialty store, shopping at a nursery, going to church, volunteering at a food bank. Not really attracted to them in a romantic way, but their character really stands out. Lonely people are all around us, buy someone a coffee, and sit down with them just to say hi, what is the worst that could happen? I have not run into anyone that looks like my husband yet, but he is the yardstick against all others are measured... G-