We can't have sunshine, lollipops and rainbows all the time, can we? Take some good rest. You can wait to see how you're doing on Friday. Still four more days. You might feel better then. Hugs.

O.k here it goes. I'm not a psychologist, but I'll play one on TV if asked!lol. Is your dad still alive? She may want to be with her girls if he's not alive.if he's passed this may be a hard holiday for her. But I may be talking out my butt,cause I don't know your situation. Like rain in Seattle said,you have 4 days yet to decide. I think you'll do the right thing for the right reason.

Sometimes in our grief, we just want to be alone. And sometimes in our grief, alone is the last place we want to be. Play it and see. If it is more than that, you and your mom need to have a little heart to heart. In my grief, if I didn't want to deal with someone, I just cut them off. That I definitely do not recommend.

My dad has been gone for 34 years and she is always telling me “I know just how you feel.” Well if she did then she would let me be when I want to be left alone. I think it’s probably too late for a heart to heart with my mom-long story. I’m struggling this week coming back to reality from vacation, work, Holy Week, Easter and tomorrow is Charlie’s birthday. I’m just a hot mess right now and the last thing I need is to have to commit to anything more. Just venting-thanks guys!

I agree with your vent Nell79. This is your Mother thinking she knows what's best for you when YOU know what is best for you (heart in the right place aside). I hope tomorrow is okay and not too awful. It's maybe just too much and there's nothing wrong with sitting home and skipping a holiday in my opinion (that's what i'm doing). Hugs to you.

I so wish people wouldn’t take it personally when we want to be alone. I have always been someone who likes alone time. Being social takes so much energy- and losing my husband has increase my need for alone time. It is a double edge sword for me though- if I withdraw from social engagements too much, I stop getting any invitations at all. It’s exhausting trying to find a healthy balance.

I spent way too much time alone in the beginning. I recognize that now- but I don’t know how I could have done anything differently. I was hurting so much... and I didn’t want pity. I think I had some idea that I would feel better someday and pull myself out of the depths of despair. My mother passed before my husband but my father was still alive. My dad had a contentious relationship with my husband and the contention didn’t end with my husband’s death. My father would say the cruelest things to me about my husband- and I had zero tolerance. I went a few weeks without talking to him because of it. Unfortunately, my Dad only outlived my husband by a 14 months. Those weeks ended up being pretty precious. That might be something you want to consider with your mother- or not. I abhor giving people advice- who am I, right? And your situation is much different than mine, I am sure.

I wish you better balance than I have found. If you don’t mind, I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

FaithNLove64 - thanks for your comment. And I'm sorry that you are experiencing multiple deaths in your life. It's daunting for sure. I am sure that nell realized that too.