A very reflective piece TJ. I guess that's something I will face in the next 18mths since we joked that I went for an older woman! Funny the things you consider when so young... The husband of your youth, the bride of my youth... And now we are alone after so many years of union. But what blessed unions we shared because of He who loved us more than we can ever know. Marriage is a blessed estate as the liturgy goes, reflecting the union of Christ and His church... So let's be consciously thankful for what we have had rather than waht we are missing?

I never thought of it like that but you are right. Just like Marilyn, James Dean, Princess Grace, Lady Diana, etc. ..all gone at the top of their game. I would have loved to see him old and frail along with me.

Marti was 3 months older than me. She always said how nice it was to marry a younger man. She would have been such a cool "old lady".

The really weird thing is that assuming I live to be in my 80's or 90's my kids and grandkids will remember me (after I die) as an elderly woman. However, their Dad is forever frozen in their minds at 45 years old.

I had this discussion one day with my 13-year-old son. When we see his Dad in heaven, what age will he be? And what age will we be? It reminds me of that song "Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven? Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?"

There are for sure more questions than answers. As I understand the Bible, heaven will be a perfect place and somehow we will know our loved ones. When we married she was 17 also and I was 20. I look at my pictures of those carefree days and cherish my memories. We were married over 53 years and at times her absence overwhelms me. I just past 1 year. People tell me things will get better but I rather think we learn to bear the pain easier.

Regarding what we will look like in Heaven, I have to share this. After my mother died I dreamed of her as she was at the end, 72 years old. Then after about 6 months, I suddenly had a very strange (but good) dream of her. She did not look like she ever did in real life, she looked better! In real life she went from too thin to too fat, her straight hair always seemed to frizz rather than curl, she complained of her sallow complexion which made it hard to wear her favorite colors. Well in the dream, she was a "just right" weight, her hair was softly curled, and her complexion was healthy, and she looked about 30 years old. I thought to myself, it is as if she chose this look as her look for eternity. Maybe
the dream had some other symoblism that I missed, but I often think of it when people start the "what will we look like in heaven" discussions. laurabp

Cliff was 5 years older than me, but even if he had lived he would have forever been the real big kid in the house. When he died, he was 55 going on 20 - he never grew up. I think your real age is what age your heart is, not whether you've got the grey hair and wrinkles, etc. (which I do!). If your spirit is young, chronological age doesn't matter, and if there is a heaven (hope so) we'll probably be like Laura's mom - just right. And we'll know each other.

Dear Pathoflife, I have often thought about that. I was 57, my husband was 68 when he passed away. I was 15 when we married. We had 42 wonderful yrs. together. Now I am 71 and he is still 68 never to grow as old as I am now. Sometimes it boggles the mind. Your right, who would have thought?

I was six months older than Mike and he would always joke about it during the six months following my birthday. Then he would catch up....But he's not going to catch up anymore. Forever 51. I was really looking forward to growing old together. I used to kid him that he would be an old grouch. But he would've been my ray of sunshine, just like he always was.

My husband Paul was 18 years older then me but age was just a number to us. I loved him with all my heart and I really thought that we would grow old together. I am thankful to have been able to spend 27 of the best years of my life with him. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of the happy memories and our time together. I am going away, just me and our dog, for my B-Day tomorrow and going to spread his ashes at one of our favorite places we went to for the past 15 years in VT. I just hope I don't have a total breakdown and can enjoy the memories.