Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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mlm2015 03/23/2015

I rarely get sick, but I came down with a terrible cold this past week. I missed my husband even more... He was always there for me..Being alone really hit home, no one to pamper me, no one even knew I was not feeling well.... I fixed my own cup of hot tea, wrapped up in a quilt and tried to baby myself as much as I could.....it was't the same.
I felt even more down in the dumps, I know it was because I was just not physically feeling well...have others noticed depression gets worse when you don't feel well?
Mary

dschwartz 03/23/2015

Absolutely! I always get teary when I'm ill, which doesn't happen very often. I can think back on the times that I would be sick in a good space in life and would still feel emotional and "alone". Probably quite the norm, I suppose. Add grief on top and YAK. Wishing you a speedy recovery soon! Bug hug, Dayna

ramar 03/23/2015

Hope you feel better soon!
I have thought about no one being here for me when I'll be sick. I was always here for Ray, he had grown up an only child, so wanted and needed extra lovin' and care when he was sick. Me 2nd of 6 kids and no extra when I was sick because there always were little ones..But still was nice when Ray was here for me as an adult..silly little things that I took for granted over the years that now are such special memories..

nowjustme 03/23/2015

Most definitely! When I 'm sick I hurts so much that he's not there for me.

deleted_user 03/23/2015

It's so difficult to be sick and not have your best friend to lean on. Since I was 18 years old, he was in my life and although I'm one of 6 children.....Morey ALWAYS made me feel so special and loved

I miss him!

Roz

mannie123 03/23/2015

I hope you feel better soon.

letmehelpyou 03/23/2015

Well, honestly, I just want to be left alone when I am sick. And J.R. was horrible at care taking, he just peered at me over his glasses and said "Please go to bed and don't bother me until you are better." Lol. So I was always on my own anyway. I miss him for many reasons, but not for his nurturing skills. Hope you feel better soon!

Hugs,
Val

Rainbow27 03/23/2015

Hope you feel better soon Mary. Not easy when all alone now to take care of ourself. It feels like no one cares in the world.... We need to self soothe ourselves... Make yourself that cup of tea, put your feet up and rest. Feel better soon.

mlm2015 03/24/2015

Thanks Everyone for your words of support and encouragement... I am feeling better, on the mend. Also improvement with mental attitude. It is strange how something like a "cold" can make us feel so down in the dumps, such a slippery slope. I guess we all really should focus on our own needs.. during this difficult period..and take extra care of ourselves.....thanks again...Mary

Shrn 03/24/2015

A year after my husband died I had a total hip replacement. The agony before surgery was overwhelming. Then after the surgery I feared how can I do this with 2 dogs at the time. Yes, my fears drove my sadness up.

I took action. Made arrangements for the care of the dogs and day by day made it through. This is a time to take care of you and let others help as well. Sharon

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