Birthdays and anniversaries are tough, especially the first couple of years. My husband was only 55 when he died, and I was only 50. The previous night we had been talking about all of our plans for the future. The next morning he died of a massive heart attack, and those dreams and plans disappeared.

I am sorry for your loss and that you, too, know how hard it can be. I am glad you found us though and want to welcome you here.

Love and Hugs,
Martha, co-Community Leader

Thank you

My husbands birthday just passed and our Anniversary (32) is this month. I am dreading it already. I know you are having a rough time. These days are the hardest . My loss is still new 11/09/2017 and I have had a few days that were almost normal. I am looking forward to the time that there are more good days than bad. We are all on a rollercoaster of emotions. Hold on with the rest of us for support. Hoping today is a little better.

It is an emotional roller coaster, His birthday our anniversary and the one year of his death are all within 30 days and its tearing me apart inside. I try so hard to act like I'm okay because I have my two grand babies with me full time. but sometimes it's hard to hide the tears.

Sorry for your painful anniversaries. I don't know when the pain will stop,as it sure has not stopped for me at 12 1/2 weeks.

Sorry for your loss. This month is rough - take good care and be patient with yourself.

Hi ToniO, I know it is so hard. My husband has been gone for many years now and those special dates still bring the longing for him flooding back. We were supposed to grow old together too and instead, I grew old without him. I can tell you that it does get better and life begins again, but it is a different life. Not the one you planned together, but it can also be sweet. It takes time. I am going to be praying for you the way that my friends always prayed for me. I am asking for strength and comfort for you.

I am 34 months into this. After 42 years married, It hasn't stopped hurting. At some points I've had brief respites from that, but the hurt returns again. That is unexpected.
I hope someday to be surprised differently, but I don't know how.
It seems that a miracle is required for me. I sure can't speak for anyone else, because I am obviously not experienced enough to even know for myself.
I do know that some of the dates have been easier, but I think that is because of knowing how bad they can be. The first ones are beyond imagination.
Hang onto one thing: we are all unique individuals. So, although we share very much in grief, I firmly believe that your script can be vastly different from mine or anyone else's. Beyond all circumstances & commonality, we have fingerprints which share nothing with anyone else at all.
If I can ask God for one thing, it would be to help me bust out of the confines of myself. To give me a future and a hope. Something beyond me. something outside of me.
I believe it is safe to ask for that.
I am sure there are a lot of people who don't feel the need to ask for that. but I need to. I need to know that He's got this. There is no way I have got this far on my own.
Please know that I am only speaking for myself. I do not try to put anything on you. As I said, we are each uniquely individual.
All my best to you, ToniO. The Dates will become easier. but not yet. First we have to go through some.
Big hug.

I still pray for a future and a hope. I feel that I have been discarded like an old shoe.

I feel like an old shoe that has fallen off an old foot. and now that the foot is gone, all the former understandings have evaporated. Now I'm supposed to come up with all kinds of creativity about how to move forward.
?
I need a support group where I actually live.

Hang in there sweetie. We are all strangers but we all know your pain, or at least our own form of the pain you are feeling. I wish I knew how to give you strength and make the pain go away. Just know that the whole world is pulling for you, wanting you to be better, one day at a time.