Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
The last time I traveled overseas was back in 2001. Darryl had been diagnosed with bowel cancer in 2000. They had successfully operated and thought it was all under control. We took off on the trip of a life time and spent six months traveling around Western Europe and Great Britain. By the end I was incredibly home sick and just wanted to get back to Australia. But we did have an amazing journey. We never had a destination because that way we could never get lost.
A real highlight of my journey was reaching the seat of the Muses at Delphi. I literally bathed in the creative waters of Castalia and it was Darryl who suggested that I bottle some of the water in water bottles and carry it back home to make sure I had a plentiful supply.
That trip sustained us through many dark hours when the cancer came back and as it ravaged his body. I sat by his bed and we retraced those steps and remembered the places we had been.
It will be three years on January 19 since his death and my daughter has been pressuring me to travel again. I have not left the country since that trip and cannot say I am enthused by the idea.
My daughter thinks that she is helping to break some kind of barrier and that she has to coax me so that I do not regret not having taken the opportunity that lies before me.
The main thing that is holding me back is leaving my elderly Cavalier King Charles in kennels. I know! I am a sad individual who gives the dog human qualities. But you see he has been a constant for a very long time and we have been through so much together.
How to handle this and where to go? It takes so long to get anywhere from Australia. I do want to live again and have some rich experiences. I just wish I knew what would give me joy. I have talked about going on a bath house tour of Japan. Maybe I should actually do this.
Maybe some of you can share some of your happiest travel memories and give me some ideas at the same time.
A real highlight of my journey was reaching the seat of the Muses at Delphi. I literally bathed in the creative waters of Castalia and it was Darryl who suggested that I bottle some of the water in water bottles and carry it back home to make sure I had a plentiful supply.
That trip sustained us through many dark hours when the cancer came back and as it ravaged his body. I sat by his bed and we retraced those steps and remembered the places we had been.
It will be three years on January 19 since his death and my daughter has been pressuring me to travel again. I have not left the country since that trip and cannot say I am enthused by the idea.
My daughter thinks that she is helping to break some kind of barrier and that she has to coax me so that I do not regret not having taken the opportunity that lies before me.
The main thing that is holding me back is leaving my elderly Cavalier King Charles in kennels. I know! I am a sad individual who gives the dog human qualities. But you see he has been a constant for a very long time and we have been through so much together.
How to handle this and where to go? It takes so long to get anywhere from Australia. I do want to live again and have some rich experiences. I just wish I knew what would give me joy. I have talked about going on a bath house tour of Japan. Maybe I should actually do this.
Maybe some of you can share some of your happiest travel memories and give me some ideas at the same time.
I know there are tons of things I have not seen in the USA. I just came back from the outter banks in North Carolina. Beautiful there. The hills of NC are wonderful. Toured an old art nu-voe home which currently is owned by one of our Supreme Court judges. I found that out later from a local lady not the tour guide.
Take your best friend with you and enjoy some of your local beauty that you never saw before. Sometimes a sun set or sun rise in a certain spot is more awesome for the first time than anything else.
Kathy
Would it help if you sat down and created an itinerary of those places that you and Darryl would have enjoyed together? Starting from that premise, you could add or delete places that would be the most or least desirable on your list.
So many other good ideas for the care of your dog are listed in the other responses. An especially insightful thought is if you would regret not going when looking back on this time. Only you can give that answer compared to the loyalty you feel toward your Cavalier King Charles. Are you saying that you wouldn't want to go anyplace, or stray too far, until your beloved pet passes? There's much to be said about the bond between owner and pet. I don't know if you enjoy traveling alone, so the suggestion of a friend is viable. I have found that I enjoy traveling alone just as well as taking in the sites with a friend. At any rate, isn't it wonderful that you have these choices close at hand and that they are doable if that is your decision?
If there's anything we've learned through this journey of loss, it is that we do not know the day and hour we will be taken from this earth. My mottono regrets (within reason)! I realize we have to be responsible and think wisely, but, geesh, haven't we all been doing that as we traveled the road of "letting go"? Now we're on the "survival road" of latching on to life and living it. Just how to do that sometimes escapes us as we live the exhausting daily routine. However, we are thrown lifelines every now and then that give us the boost our loss has taken away.
I'll be anxious to hear of your adventures. If you ever get to the states, look me up! Who knows what exciting activities we can discover. Blessing to you from the USA! TJ
I know what you mean about the dog. Mine is way too attached to me. I got her after my husband died and should have called her velcro.
Don't be pushed into doing something you are not comfortable with. You will know when it is time. The travel destinations will always be there.
I have only taken one trip since my husband's death and that was a road trip from Texas to Georgia to visit with my Dad's family. I really didn't feel i was up for that either but now, I'm glad I went. Since i was there, one Uncle and one Aunt have both passed away and if I had not gone, I would not have that memory of our last visit.