You are not wrong. This was your husband's dog and maybe now that he is gone the dog feels like it is his place to protect you. Have you looked into obedience training. A dog needs to know who the pack leader is. And maybe he feels that your son is trying to asume that role. In the mean time, I would purchase a muzzle for the dog when your son is going to be around. Maybe get him involved with obedience training with you. Just some thoughts, The dog is definately suffering loss too.

Just a p.s. If you have ever Watched Ceasar Milan the dog whisperer, he truly believes that any dog can be rehabilitated. It will just take some time.

Dog's intuition is much like childrens. They are usually spot on. Sorry to say this, as it involves one of your sons. Oy Vey! German Shepards are def a breed that is all about a "one owner", and are very obedient and loyal to their master/mistress. I can only imagine what your dog is going through with the loss of his master. German's are a very smart and an intelligent breed. If he doesn't take to your son, it's probably because your son is not taking to him/her. I'm not sure how you can handle this other than to make a decision to keep the dog, as is he/she is part of the family. Your son will have to abide my your ultimate decision? The dog doesn't need to be rehabilitated, but maybe your son does? No easy answers here . . but in my humble opinion, the dog rules! Do what you have to do to keep your furry friend. Hugs to you and your family dog. xo, D

So if after getting rid of the dog to please him, what's to keep him from taking the out-of-state job anyway. Next time he starts with that noise tell him you need to get a lawyer to draw up a contract first, just in case he should decide to welch out on his side of the deal. My youngest son hates my cats and pulls that stuff quite often. Doesn't like me telling him what to do though.

I do trust a dog's intuition but you also love your son. I happen to be a certified dog trainer (CPDT-KA), and this is the advice I'd give clients:
Get a soft, comfortable basket muzzle and have it on your dog when this son is around. Give the dog super yummy treats when acclimating dog to it-- there are good web videos and online advice on how to do this. Get the dog to love wearing his muzzle.
Does Ryan live with you? If so, he will have to be the only one to feed the dog, and walk the dog. He will have to bond with him.
If he does not live with you, you can just put the dog in a crate or in a locked room when Ryan is visiting. Problem solved.
I would have a muzzle on the dog at all times if he has to be around Ryan though. Ryan IS your son and has a right to be with you. But you also made a commitment to your husband's dog. Every time Ryan comes over, make sure to have some yummy chicken or steak available that Ryan can feed this dog through the muzzle. No one else should give these high value treats but Ryan. Hopefully your dog will learn to trust and love him. Maybe Ryan reminds the pup of someone in the past who was evil to him or someone. See if Ryan is willing to try to win the dog over with treats...
I am a bit confused as to how it can be a therapy dog if it has this aggression towards Ryan. True therapy dogs have to be "bomb proof" and trustworthy with all people and dogs, or they do not get this sacred title.
Hopefully if Ryan see that you have the new muzzle on the dog, he will realize you are making an effort to take his feelings and safety into account. Hopefully he will make an effort to bond more.
Dogs should never be allowed to "attack" anyone. Did he draw blood?
(We can discuss via private message if you and the other DS members want!)

I think your dog is trying to tell you something!

I don't pretend to have the answers for you. I'm just sorry that you are being put in this position in the first place.

Good luck with your heart cath. You need to focus on YOU right now. I hope everything turns out well for you.

Roz

I totally agree with the certified trainer. If this dog was your husband's therapy dog there is something triggering a complete change.

If the son shows fear than anger or distaste however this dog is smart enough to know, maybe something unintentionally or intentionally towards the dog when he was also grieving your husband's loss? Who knows. Can this dog be retrained to help another person? He may need this! He may need a job to do.
Most important thing for the dog and your son is no one gets hurt: physically or emotionally. You do have to think of what is best for both. I hope this gets worked out.

So many differing advices . . I suppose it depends upon your individual situation. Nicker has a point with the dog possibly needing a "job" . . however, as many have said, the dog is quite probably grieving his former purpose and his previous "master". So sad.

Germans, as I know them to be, are def an intuitive breed and very smart. Have you tried to assume the dominant role (as you should now as his new Mistress)? Do you think your dog thinks your son might be trying to assume that role, therein would lie a fight for top dog? Just thinking . .

This is where a good trainer would come into play if you can't work this out on your own. As the question has been posed, would your son be willing to work with you and the dog, or is he closed off to the possibilities of mending the relations for all involved?

Jeez, I'm such a dog (animal) lover, I immediately went to the "dog rules", which might not have been the best advice. I simply know in my household of furry friends, they do rule above all . . with exception of me being dom and in charge. I demand respect as I give respect and it works in our household. However, I've not been in a position of having to chose an adult child over a family pet. I can't imagine.

The reason I gave the advice I gave previously, was knowing your child was an "adult" . . as in should be behaving like an adult, thinking like an adult, etc. Now, I'm not so sure . . is he all of those mature ideals?

There must be a compromise somewhere here, without demands. In my opinion, it is not fair for him to give you an ultimatum of the dog or "I'm moving out of state". How immature is that?

Sorry, I am so passionate about our furry babies and I totally believe in their intuition. Something is def amiss here.

Hopefully the blanks will be filled in for you before long and you will find a resolution to this conundrum. Meanwhile . . . I personally would not put a muzzle on the dog, nor would I invite your son to give him the special treats (as I don't think he would willingly engage in this training endeavor and it will further stress your grieving dog).

What I might do is keep the dog separated in another room or outdoors in a safe area when your son and grandson are visiting.

Wishing you the best of luck to keep all of your "family" safe, happy and sound. Hugs, D

P.S. I agree that "drawing blood" is not an option for the dog and not good behavior. I'm still uncertain as to you writing that the dog was "attacking" your son . . what does that mean?

I totally agree with lovedogs, keep the dog if it is making you happy. Do you own the house? If so, by all means it is your right to do what you please. Dogs are intelligent creatures and the dog is sensing the ill feelings of your son towards him that is why the dog is reciprocating such bad behavior.