Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I've been struggling all this time with that question - what is my purpose now?
My life fell apart when Joe died. In fact, my life ended. Why was I denied a nice retirement like everyone else, with their loved one?
Last night I was reading the Bible. I've always known that the more we read it and pray, the deeper our insights will be.
At this point in my life, I have only volunteer work to finish out my life with. At first glance, that sucks. I want my husband, our retirement, security, fun, a person to turn to in all times of trouble. Then my mind slipped over to the thought of Jesus. He never married, never had children, never had a paid-for home, never had a retirement, had no one to go home to at the end of the day. How did he survive? How did he handle all his needs? He went up the mountain alone and prayed. He turned to God for every need and sorrow.
Suddenly, I am acosted with guilt. What makes me think I deserve more? Why do I have to have Joe just because I want to? Jesus was the ultimate volunteer. I can be one too. And I can quit whining. I'm gonna try.
My life fell apart when Joe died. In fact, my life ended. Why was I denied a nice retirement like everyone else, with their loved one?
Last night I was reading the Bible. I've always known that the more we read it and pray, the deeper our insights will be.
At this point in my life, I have only volunteer work to finish out my life with. At first glance, that sucks. I want my husband, our retirement, security, fun, a person to turn to in all times of trouble. Then my mind slipped over to the thought of Jesus. He never married, never had children, never had a paid-for home, never had a retirement, had no one to go home to at the end of the day. How did he survive? How did he handle all his needs? He went up the mountain alone and prayed. He turned to God for every need and sorrow.
Suddenly, I am acosted with guilt. What makes me think I deserve more? Why do I have to have Joe just because I want to? Jesus was the ultimate volunteer. I can be one too. And I can quit whining. I'm gonna try.
In my experience, it was fruitless for me to actively pursue my purpose. As the mind and body healed, it is obvious I am still very much connected in spirit as well as just being me - volunteer, coworker, sister, aunt, and in-law. Oh, plus Mommy to my kitty.
BUT going through those thoughts giving it some good movements ahead inspires us all...
HUGS friend