Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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aratliff 10/03/2013

exactly 1 year ago today, I went to the hospital and picked up the PET-SCAN results...the report indicated no "uptake" (no cancer), they suspected the spots on his lungs were granuloma (we figured it was from years of breathing in fumes and dusts as a auto body technicianI remember how relieved we were, standing in the lobby of the hospital, we both hugged each other with tears in our eyeson the way home he called his sisters and told them of the good news, when we got home I texted both of his boys and told themwe were all so relievedhard to believe that almost 6 mths later he would die from liver cancerone Dr was not totally convinced, she send him in for a MRI-that is when they found the tumor and blood clot in his liverwhen his liver began to fail and he was bleeding internally (it was March 17 when he went to the ER by ambulance) he spent 2 days in ICU, after that they moved him to a private room, I knew that was not a good sign, but I was still not quite coming to the realization that it was really going to be the end of usthey had told me that granuloma does not grow, and the spots in his lungs had got larger and were also likely cancer, without more tests they were not sure if it was a second primary, or a secondary to the liver cancerI never thought I would be in this place 1 year ago

asarivg12 10/03/2013

Those scans are really quite horrible - you are scared that they will find something, but when they don't you are still not sure, lol.

Cancer is really difficult to contend with, and exactly how the cancer can hide is still a mystery. Unfortunately for you the cancer was aggressive, so I know its hard to deal with.

sandeestttn 10/03/2013

My husband on every scan, was a spot on his lung. Always turned out, it was a nipple, showing up. A scare for him every 6 months.

gerald222 10/03/2013

I am so sorry you had to endure the cancer battle with your husband. I also battled cancer with my wife over a 6 month period. I totally understand when you write I never thought I would be here a year ago. I try to push forward but in my heart of hearts I continue to miss my wife daily and I would give anything to turn the clock back to happier times. Wishing you peace. Gerald

jrp32079 10/03/2013

I'm approaching my own similar one year anniversary. 10/19 is the date my wife went it to the hospital to have a stent checked on(previously inserted to open a radiation blockage from childhood cancer) . That's when we were told she needed heart valve surgery. We knew for a long time that she did, we just didn't expect it that soon. The surgery was on 10/23 and went well. About 6 weeks later she was back in the hospital due to a minor complication. 4 months later she died. Like you I never expected to be in this place a year ago.

rochelle1466 10/03/2013

i get this. i hate cancer, the way he robs you of your dreams, the testing, the living on any sign of hope...then for it all to be ripped away. I hate cancer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its horrible to watch the one you love suffer so.

jewells1 10/03/2013

I still freak on dates that were significant.
I am sorry that Cancer has hit so many here. My john's was aggressive also. We only bought time in months.

jblail 10/03/2013

I agree I hate cancer. ey kept telling us that this chemo would shrink the tumor on her lung. Then we would get a scan done and no shrinkage, in fact it was growing still. 3 cheomo drugs later, 3 hosipital stays later, we decided that it was just too hard on her to continue the treatments, 11 says later she was gone. We had no real warning of the cancer in all it was a horrible 5 months at the cancer center almost every day towards the end. No peace no rest, now she is at peace and resting and I'm still not.

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