Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Welcome Wagon

wendywillow
wendywillow
This takes the cake everyone. I am sure we all get mail addressed to our late husbands or wives. It gives you a jolt at first.
My husband's name is still on some of the bills that come into the house. Most charge cards and other cards are changed. But it does open a wound or bring on tears when sales people ask us about names on cards or make reference to our dearly beloved (who are no longer here).

But this was awful - the phone rang the other evening.
"Hello?"
"Hi, this is Welcome Wagon. I heard you just moved into the community?"
"Excuse me???? I've lived here for 15 years!!"
"Oh, sorry, must be some mistake."

It wasn't until after I hung up that I realized that our house had just been transferred from David's name to mine. So the City must have given her the name of a "new person" moving into the community.
Ouch!
deleted_user
deleted_user
That is an ouch! We must be on the same wavelength- I got a credit card in Mike's name today and called to get his name taken off. It's so hard to say his name over the phone-- but yours really does take the cake- the person on the other end of the phone must have felt pretty strange after he/she hung up.
tdarlene
tdarlene
AARP sent a card to me and one addressed /deceased. My heart was so hurt and I called to complain. So far, no more mail has come like that from them(there was also an advertisement generated thru them).Joined AMAC instead. Our hearts sure get tortured, don't they? Hugs, Darlene
deleted_user
deleted_user
We owned a business, so I had a lot of paper work to go through to shut it down. It hurt me to close each thing out and when I got the insurance updated on our vehicles stating his name has been deleted, that was painful. I have kept his name in the phone book and on our checking acct. I want him to remain apart of my life ....not like he didnt exist. I get mail all the time with his name and our former business with his name....I am okay with it...:) What was painful was when I had to tell the customers who were calling and didnt know, that he had died. I could barely tell them...
sr419
sr419
I had an experience similar to yours last month. I kept getting calls from an unknown number that turned out to be a collection agency for Bill's ambulance bill that was supposed to have been paid by Workers Compensation. When the person asked to speak to "William" I told her that he was deceased and she would have to speak with me. She apparently didn't know the word "deceased" as she said she couldn't talk to me, she had to talk to William about a past due bill. Frustrated, I gave up and told her he wasn't at home. She said to give him a message to call this toll free number to discuss his account and "have a nice day." Painful, but just part of the frustration I've been dealing with since Bill's death.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh Wendy, that must have been a rough phone call. so sorry you had to experience that.

Darlene, what is AMAC? I know I don't like AARP and won't join them.

Debbie, I also have kept Bob's name on almost everything. Checking and credit cards, etc. I did have to change the title on our cars... I guess for insurance purposes, and my rates went UP!! I couldn't figure that one out. One less drive to cover to be insured and I have to pay more money!!

I still haven't been able to update my Facebook profile... to say the word "Widow". It still says Married... because I do still feel married.

Linda
deleted_user
deleted_user
Linda my insurance went up too. I was thinking gee whiz I thought it would have gone down...He is still on the credit cards and on fb ... I cant change my status to widow, because I still feel like I am married to Larry.... Debbie
deleted_user
deleted_user
My insurance company sent Bobby a birthday card on a Monday. I changed the policy and they sent a sympathy card that Wednesday. I suppose I should have appreciated the thought; however, it was one I probably could have done without.

Linda I haven't changed my Facebook status either and do not see me doing it anytime in the near future.

~Christi
Parmela
Parmela
I'm moving and put the utilities in my name.... of course. Well, the first electric bill came and guess whose name the accounts in!

I won't even talk about the calls from collection agencies I continue to get trying to collect a debt that was for somebody else but they happened to have the same name. Every time I'm told they will fix it and won't call again. The calls will stop alright! As soon as I complete my move and turn off the house phone!
michaelbmanning
michaelbmanning
I get mail addressed to Mike all the time. We own a realty company and it is still up and running, and I am working. I will not re-name the firm to remove his name. It is the name of a business and that is the way it will be. I have not removed Mike's name from anything. There is nothing I am going to dispose of, so no reason to change anything like property deed or vehicle titles. Without Mike, the business that supports my children would not exist. I can not erase him and won't.

Maggie
deleted_user
deleted_user
At six months into this I'm still working on getting things in my name. Utility bills for some reason are a particular pain. It would have been much simpler if my last name was the same as his. The propane delivery guy had an argument with his company. They sent him out to fill a propane tank for a new account and he argued that there couldn't be any new accounts - there were just 6 houses on my road and everyone was full up. Of course the "new account" was me and indeed I was full, but he had to come out anyway and check and I explained to him what had happened.
wendywillow
wendywillow
It hurts, doesn't it? Especially the stories of people who call and ask for our dearly beloved. I feel for you, sr419, especially taking calls from a collection agency.

About 5 weeks after David died, the hospital called to remind him of a follow-up appointment. I wish...

I wish I could have kept David's name on credit cards, etc. but the bank cancelled them. Same with the car. They transferred ownership to me almost immediately. Some of the utilities are still in David's name and they are going to stay that way.

Oh, and this is crazy too - I got a letter from the bank trying to sell David life insurance. Really!!