Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
It seems that weekends are the hardest days to get through for me. Yesterday was long, rainy, and lonely. I didn't talk to a soul till my son brought some stew by. He and I are working on restoring a somewhat bad relationship. I get along with him better since he moved out. I have been shredding some of Dennis' papers - receipts from old book orders, etc. Does anyone have any insight on what one should keep or not keep? For instance, I have a box full of his and his late wife's house papers; these are fixing to go byebye. Surely the IRS wil not audit him, and if they did, what could they do? What about medical records? I guess I do feel a little guilty each time I put something in the shredder - like it's a part of him. But as one of my stepsons told me (from a previous marriage), "These things are not Dad." I am not going to build or live in a shrine, although I will remember the good times. I keep a small memory tote. I think that in about 6 months, maybe a year, I may be ready to allow someone else into my heart. It just takes time to process everything that has happened and feel that you are being fair to that new person when he or she comes along. If I am fortunate enough to find love again, I want it to be right.
http://www.thefreefinancialadvisor.com/how-long-should-you-keep-financial-records-after-a-death/
You are going to need to hang onto the papers for sometime. It's awful, I know, as I had to go through all of Cliff's papers, including his business documents, and prepare our tax returns and close his business and do the tax returns for that, too. The smartest thing I ever did was to get a professional accountant tax preparer to help me. She found me deductions I didn't know I had, and instead of owing money, I got a large chunk back. She more than covered her fee!
Papers that have to do with property ownership, divorce and death, benefits (Veterans and union pensions especially) should be kept. You may be entitled to additional benefits for yourself as the survivor, but you will need some documentation for those. Things like receipts for purchases you should keep IF they were business expenses. Cliff had purchased a lot of technical books for his business and that was a deductible expense. If it's just books he ordered for leisure reading, then no - you can chuck those.
As far as audits, the IRS can audit someone 3 years later, and if they think the final returns weren't done properly they can audit for those as well.
I hope this helps.
Love and Hugs,
Martha
I remember that in one day I shredded about half a dozen garbage bags full from Cliff's office. It was hard because I had to go through his stuff page by page, as he kept stuff all mixed together. I would find invoices mixed in with songs he was writing, mixed in with computer programming notes, poems, drawings, you name-it. He was brilliant but disorganized.
Did you get any legal advice about the house property? Your rights under the law vary from state to state, but you may have been entitled to something. Both of our names were on the title, but only mine on the mortgage, so I was able to keep the house until I was ready to sell it so long as I kept up the payments. It's kind of strange that it turned out that way, but it was a good thing.
Wishing you brighter days....
Love and Hugs,
Martha